| Pages in topic: < [1 2] | Off topic: Anyone out there with a joke to tell? Thread poster: Seadeta Osmani
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Seadeta Osmani 
Croatia
Local time: 22:14
English to Croatian
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TOPIC STARTER | Thank you, guys! | Jan 31, 2006 |
Thank you so much!
Seadeta
| | | | Balasubramaniam L.
India
Local time: 01:44
Member (2006)
English to Hindi
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SITE LOCALIZER | Who was the most famous man of all? | Feb 2, 2006 |
South London. A teacher said to the class of 5-year-olds, "I'll give $20 to the child who can tell me who was the most famous man who ever lived."
An Irish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St. Patrick." The teacher said, "Sorry Alan, that's not correct."
Then a Scottish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St. Andrew." The teacher replied, "I'm sorry, Hamish, that's not right either.
Finally, a Gujarati boy raised his hand and said, "It was Jesus Ch... See more South London. A teacher said to the class of 5-year-olds, "I'll give $20 to the child who can tell me who was the most famous man who ever lived."
An Irish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St. Patrick." The teacher said, "Sorry Alan, that's not correct."
Then a Scottish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St. Andrew." The teacher replied, "I'm sorry, Hamish, that's not right either.
Finally, a Gujarati boy raised his hand and said, "It was Jesus Christ." The teacher said,
"That's absolutely right, Jayant, come up here and I'll give you the $20."
As the teacher was giving Jayant his money, she said, "You know Jayant, since you are from India, I was very surprised you said Jesus Christ."
Jayant replied,"Yes, in my heart I knew it was Lord Krishna, but business is business!" ▲ Collapse
| | | | | be careful what you wish for! ;) | Feb 3, 2006 |
A man walks into a restaurant with a fully grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders. The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?"
"I'll have the same," says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That Will be £6.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.
The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the... See more A man walks into a restaurant with a fully grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders. The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?"
"I'll have the same," says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That Will be £6.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.
The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "A hamburger, fries, and a coke."
The ostrich says, "I'll have the same." Again the man reaches Into his pocket and pays with exact change.
This becomes routine until, the two enter again. "The usual?" Asks the waitress. "No, it's Friday night, so I'll have a steak, baked potato and salad," says the man!
"Same," says the ostrich.
Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be £22.62."
Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table. The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer.
"Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?"
"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes.
My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."
That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would wish for a million pounds or something, but you'll always be as rich for as long as you live!"
"That's right. Whether it's a pint of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.
The waitress asks, "But sir, what's with the ostrich?"
The man sighs, pauses and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick with a big ass and long legs who agrees with everything I say!" ▲ Collapse
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NancyLynn
Canada
Local time: 16:14
Member (2002)
French to English
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Moderator of this forum | the trouble with the ostrich | Feb 3, 2006 |
very agreeable, but she doesn't tip the waitress
Nancy
| | | | | any fans of Top Gun movie? | Feb 3, 2006 |
If you haven't seen the movie it will probably mean nothing more than a silly comedy, but if you have, this is absolutely brilliant, still can't stop laughing!
http://www.usafitz.com/SupportingPages/iceman.htm
| | | | | Frivolous Old Gal | Feb 8, 2006 |
I just got this in my e-mail and found it cute
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Frivolous Old Gal
I have become a little older since I saw you last, and a few changes have come into my life since then. Frankly, I have become a frivolous old gal. I am seeing five gentlemen every day.
As soon as I wake up, Will Power helps me get out of bed.
Then I go to see... See more I just got this in my e-mail and found it cute
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Frivolous Old Gal
I have become a little older since I saw you last, and a few changes have come into my life since then. Frankly, I have become a frivolous old gal. I am seeing five gentlemen every day.
As soon as I wake up, Will Power helps me get out of bed.
Then I go to see John.
Then Charlie Horse comes along,
...and when he is here he takes a lot of my time and attention.
When he leaves, Art Ritis shows up and stays the rest of the day. He doesn't like to stay in one place very long, so he takes me from joint to joint.
After such a busy day, I'm really tired and glad to go to bed with Ben Gay.
What a life!
Oh yes, I'm also flirting with Al Zymer.
P.S. The preacher came to call the other day. He said at my age I should be thinking of the hereafter. I told him, "Oh, I do it all the time. No matter where I am - in the parlour, upstairs, in the kitchen, or down in the basement, I ask myself, "Now, what am I here after? ▲ Collapse
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