Jun 16, 2010 15:27
13 yrs ago
1 viewer *
German term
Die Toten der Kriege mahnen die Lebenden zum Frieden.
German to English
Art/Literary
Poetry & Literature
I have translated a short text about military cemeteries which went well and this was the last line. I went with: 'Those who gave their lives in the wars must serve as a reminder to the living of peace' but am unhappy with the impact and word order of the last part. Can anyone come up with a better idea?
Proposed translations
(English)
Proposed translations
55 mins
Selected
May those who died in all wars remind the living of our common quest for peace
may work
Note from asker:
I finally used a combination based on your suggestion: May those who died in war serve as a constant reminder to the living of the quest for peace, lest we forget |
4 KudoZ points awarded for this answer.
Comment: "Thanks to all for their great suggestions"
12 mins
Those who died in war remind the living what it means to live in peace.
Nobody ever said it better than Abraham Lincoln in the Gettysburg Address:
"But, in a larger sense, we cannot dedicate—we cannot consecrate—we cannot hallow—this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us—that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion—that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain—that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom— and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth."
"But, in a larger sense, we cannot dedicate—we cannot consecrate—we cannot hallow—this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us—that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion—that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain—that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom— and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth."
+1
36 mins
The war dead admonish the living toward peace.
or "Those who *have* died in wars..."
42 mins
Those who died in wars - a stark reminder to the living to promote peace
a bit different.....
+3
58 mins
Lest we forget
This is the phrase that automatically comes to mind, it's so well-known that it can take the place of the entire lengthy translation.
Comes from a poem by Rudyard Kipling entitled Recessional.
Used in Remembrance Day ceremonies as a caution against forgetting those who died in war.
See also
http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/lest_we_forget
Comes from a poem by Rudyard Kipling entitled Recessional.
Used in Remembrance Day ceremonies as a caution against forgetting those who died in war.
See also
http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/lest_we_forget
Note from asker:
I finally chose a combination May those who died in war serve as a constant reminder to the living of the quest for peace, lest we forget. Lest we forget is my personal favourite but was not really a translation of the German |
Peer comment(s):
agree |
Cetacea
: That's much better than the original, actually.
2 hrs
|
Thank you! Well, not everybody can be Kipling ... ;-)
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agree |
Johanna Timm, PhD
: this would definitely be the Canadian equivalent
2 hrs
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Thanks Johann, you're right!
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neutral |
Edwin Miles
: It's nice, but from a translation pov, I'd like to know it would fit with the remaining context,whatever that is. Btw, in Australia, we'd think of "They shall not grow old, as we that are left grow old..."
2 hrs
|
agree |
Kerstin Green
: for a UK audience I think this is great!
1 day 1 hr
|
3 hrs
The dead from wars past shall remind the living to keep the peace
Those who gave their lives in the wars must serve as a reminder to the living of peace' but am unhappy with the impact and word order of the last part.
sugg:
The dead from wars past shall remind the living to keep the peace
sugg:
The dead from wars past shall remind the living to keep the peace
+2
3 hrs
The dead of war counsel the living to peace.
This works nicely for my ear. I know "counsel" is not quite the same as mahnen, perhaps more benign, but I think the drama of "the dead of war" balances this.
Peer comment(s):
agree |
Jim Tucker (X)
1 hr
|
Thanks, Jim.
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agree |
philgoddard
: Perfect! It needs to be short and punchy like the German. and the rhythm is very similar (mahnen = counsel)
2 hrs
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Thanks Phil, appreciate the support.
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1 day 20 hrs
remind/warn
"Those who died in war remind those who live in peace."
That's about as short and as close to the German as I can get it without getting tangled up in articles. One could substitute 'warn' for 'remind' but that would technically get a bit away from the original German. As in the original, I see no need to include any sort of 'remind of what' as it's obvious.
That's about as short and as close to the German as I can get it without getting tangled up in articles. One could substitute 'warn' for 'remind' but that would technically get a bit away from the original German. As in the original, I see no need to include any sort of 'remind of what' as it's obvious.
1 day 20 hrs
Those who died in war remind those who live in peace.
(I was under the impression that the sentence should go here and the target term should go above. However...please pardon the double submission!)
Discussion
Here I picked "toward" over "to" as an indication of the difficulty of the enterprise, and its need for constant effort.
re. Jim's answer: can you admonish someone "toward" something?
I personally don't like the pathos of the word "gave" since that suggests that those killed had a choice ...