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men's or man's
a collective noun (or phrase) for people involved in a drama production
Nov 11, 2005 23:18
18 yrs ago
5 viewers *
English term

Rephrasing

Non-PRO English Art/Literary Poetry & Literature
I'd like to avoid the repetition of 'to' in the following sentence:

"It is in fact exactly this absence of a harmonious ‘state of unity’ that inevitably induces the reader, and thus the critic, to attempt to grasp the inexistent innermost core of the story."

'to attempt to' sounds awkward, any suggestions?
Responses
3 +1 to make an attempt at (grasping)
3 +1 comments
3 directs the reader ... into an attempt to grasp the inexistent
3 I do think it sounds good but here's a twist
1 another go

Discussion

David Van der Vloet (asker) Nov 11, 2005:
Thanks Derek, very useful link.
David Van der Vloet (asker) Nov 11, 2005:
It's about Wuthering Heights by the way :-) I you have read the novel, you will see that it is very difficult, if not impossible, to find one unified and logical core in the story.
Robert Forstag Nov 11, 2005:
Fair enough, Northstar. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. Take care. ;-)
David Van der Vloet (asker) Nov 11, 2005:
You have a point, Derek, but this type of academic writing requires a somewhat different approach.
David Van der Vloet (asker) Nov 11, 2005:
I'd have to send you the entire abstract if you want to know that :-)
Robert Forstag Nov 11, 2005:
If this is something you are writing, do you really want to say that the story that you are writing about has no core? If it does not, why would anyone want to bother reading it, let alone read a critical essay about it?
Jack Doughty Nov 11, 2005:
And to me. I'd leave it. I don't much like the word inexistent, though Google shows that it does exist. However, it is not in my Oxford English Dictionary, so must be rare, at least in UK English. I'd use "non-existent".
David Van der Vloet (asker) Nov 11, 2005:
I'd rather avoid unnecessary repetition of 'to' for stylistic reasons... It's an academic text.
Kim Metzger Nov 11, 2005:
It sounds perfectly natural to me.

Responses

+1
6 mins
English term (edited): to attempt to (grasp)
Selected

to make an attempt at (grasping)

...might work here. :-)

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Note added at 7 mins (2005-11-11 23:25:22 GMT)
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Also see: http://www.google.com/search?hl=de&rls=GGLD,GGLD:2004-29,GGL...

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Note added at 24 mins (2005-11-11 23:42:47 GMT)
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AFTER ADDED NOTE BY ASKER:
BTW - As far as style is concerned, many regard the prolific use of verbs as nouns as a sign of a poor writing style, i.e. "common culprits in passive sentences" (see "Using Verbs as Nouns" under rule 2 here: http://www.planning.org/careers/macris.htm ).
;-)

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Note added at 29 mins (2005-11-11 23:47:04 GMT)
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"Using plain English helps to make writing clear, helpful, human and polite. This guide is designed to make text in University publications easy to understand, enjoyable to read and accessible to all. It is not intended to make publications simplistic, or to crush individual writing styles." (see: http://www.strath.ac.uk/brand/copywritingstyleguide/ ).
Peer comment(s):
agree Kim Metzger : I don't see anything awkward about "to attempt to", though.
1 min
To tell you the truth, I don't either; in fact, it's used much more often (see: http://www.google.com/search?sourceid=navclient&ie=UTF-8&rls... ). ;-) Thanks Kim - it was great seeing you in DD! :-)
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4 KudoZ points awarded for this answer. Comment: "Thanks to you all for the many reactions. I am most grateful! "
42 mins

directs the reader ... into an attempt to grasp the inexistent

another way to express the same.

Reference:

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=%22into+an+attempt+to%22&btnG=Google+Search

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2 hrs

I do think it sounds good but here's a twist

only one "to" in the sentence (if you can give up induced)- but your sentence is stronger and more pointed

Inevitably, the reader, and thus the critic, in the absence of/lacking a harmonious ‘state of unity’ will try/attempt to grasp (grapple with) the inexistent innermost core of the story
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10 hrs

another go

It is this very absence of a harmonious state of unity that invariably induces readers and critics alike to discern the innermost core of the story, which in reality, does not exist.
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+1
13 hrs

comments

IMO the only simple way to avoid the repetition of 'to' (which like other answers I find perfectly natural) is to find a single verb with the same meaning. Besides being difficult, IMO that would force you to choose which of the two meanings of 'grasp' you want to keep: 'put your hands on' or 'comprehend'. That would reduce the richness of meaning arising from the ambiguous sense of 'grasp', which IMO would be a regrettable loss.
That being said, perhaps you could reword this (and avoid the metaphoric difficulties of attemping to grasp something nonexistant) as follows:

'... that inevitably induces the reader, and thus the critic, to vainly attempt to grasp the inner core of the story.'
Peer comment(s):
agree Armorel Young : agree that you could replace "to attempt to grasp" with a single verb - I'd try "to search for" or "to seek" (without "attempt")
1 hr
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