Off topic: How To Treat Your Local Supermarket Thread poster: Cristina Lo Bianco
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Hi, I received this from an Italian translators mailing list. Maybe you know it already, but it is too funny to miss it! **************************************************** How To Treat Your Local Supermarket by Wilmer Brouwer Dear owner of my local supermarket, You are probably really happy to have me as your custormer. Here are some simple rules to keep me as a customer: a) Please add everything I ... See more Hi, I received this from an Italian translators mailing list. Maybe you know it already, but it is too funny to miss it! **************************************************** How To Treat Your Local Supermarket by Wilmer Brouwer Dear owner of my local supermarket, You are probably really happy to have me as your custormer. Here are some simple rules to keep me as a customer: a) Please add everything I buy to my bill b) Please send an invoice once a month at the end of the month for everything I buy c) I will pay every invoice after 60 days d) I will start counting those days at the end of the month in which you send the invoice e) I will pay on my payment date, which happens to be the 15th of every month (don't complain, it could be the 30th!) f) I decide what I pay for your products g) If I buy the same product twice I will pay only half for the second product h) If I buy a lot I decide what reduction you will give i) Please also give me an extra reduction because it's a crisis j) I only pay on PayPal I hope you know how lucky you are that I am still your customer! Don't expect me to thank you, you probably know how many supermarkets there are and some of them are a lot cheaper than you! I will let you know if I think of any other rules in the future to keep our cooperation as perfect as possible! Kind regards, Your customer P.S.: I will demand discounts for fuzzies, e.g. white bread/brown bread, as the oven was already warm, there was already someone working on that anyway, so why treat it as two completely separate products and pay full price? I even encouraged my local supermarket to buy a really expensive extra large oven for baking more bread at the same time so all their customers can claim this reduction. And yes, we do expect them to completely transfer any profit this might bring to us as customers. For some reason my local supermarket didn't understand that this will be profitable for them too. The main reason is of course that I refuse to buy their bread if they don't have that oven. ************************************************* Have a nice week-end, Cristina
[Subject edited by staff or moderator 2010-02-05 10:08 GMT] ▲ Collapse | | |
HA HA! Thank you for making me laugh! Have a nice weekend too! | | | Your local supermarket | Oct 31, 2009 |
Priceless! Thanks for brightening my weekend. Lucinda | | | Thanks for making me laugh! | Oct 31, 2009 |
It's really a sad story, but thanks anyway! | |
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Williamson United Kingdom Local time: 12:02 Flemish to English + ... The translation supermarket | Nov 1, 2009 |
Why does this make me think of the "translation supermarket? | | | Qui c'est qui te parle de bénéfices.....? | Nov 1, 2009 |
"For some reason my local supermarket didn't understand that this will be profitable for them too" So, like.....emmm.... they think they are supposed to be making a profit or something? Thanks for expressing the irony of it so well! Have a good week.
[Edited at 2009-11-01 18:27 GMT]
[Edited at 2009-11-01 18:28 GMT] | | |
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