@ Asker 19:49 Oct 15, 2013
There are many flaws in this sentence as it stands, quite apart from the specific term asked.
"My specialization is to structure the text, in order that the message that [it] is intended to convey fulfill its mission successfully."
For a start, having 2 that's like that is very ugly Then 'in order to' is arguably not really the right expression to use — as well as being unnecessarily wordy. And then, what you are saying doesn't really make a lot of sense: the text is structured so that the message it is intended to convey will fulfil its mission successfully — I'm not sure that it is very natural to speak of a 'message fulfilling its mission'; then again, one might say there is also a pleonasm, since by definition, fulfil means to successfully complete. I think you should probably have the entire text proofed and edited by an EN native speaker, since this sort of piecemeal editing is rarely successful, as well as being arguably outside the remit of this KudoZ forum. |