emotional consistency

English translation: always be consistent in emotional response...

15:47 Nov 19, 2019
English language (monolingual) [PRO]
General / Conversation / Greetings / Letters / parenting
English term or phrase: emotional consistency
Dear colleagues,
I was wondering about the meaning of “emotional consistency” in the passage below taken from a US parenting book.
After reading some material, I feel it seems to convey the idea of "emotional stability" (self-control) as well as of the ability to tune in to the child’s emotions so as to give “coherent” responses to those emotions. Might this expression have this twofold meaning?
This is the book where I’ve found a possible explanation of “emotionally consistent”:
https://books.google.it/books?id=52ISBQAAQBAJ&pg=PA110&lpg=P...

Thank you very much for your help!


***********************

A related objection we hear when we discuss the importance of *** emotional consistency *** from parents has to do with earning a child’s respect. One parent will often tell us that her spouse objects to the strategy of connecting with a child before addressing behavioral issues. He might say, “They’re never going to respect you when you let them walk all over you like that. You need to be harsh sometimes. At times you even need to yell.” And she fears he’s right.
We do agree with this father that parents shouldn’t allow kids to “walk all over them.” It is indeed important that parents remain the authorities in the relationship—you’ve heard us say so throughout the book. But our position, based on science and experience, is that parents can maintain authority while prioritizing the relationship and maintaining self-control.
When parents are yelling and reactive, commanding and demanding, having lost control of themselves, how does that earn respect from a child? It’s much more likely to come when you stay in charge of your emotions, when you remain thoughtful, measured, calm, and fair-minded. That’s strength, not weakness.
haribert
Local time: 15:11
Selected answer:always be consistent in emotional response...
Explanation:
"... stay in charge of your emotions, when you remain thoughtful, measured, calm, and fair-minded."

be constant rather than changeable

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Note added at 6 mins (2019-11-19 15:53:40 GMT)
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"parents can maintain authority while prioritizing the relationship and maintaining self-control"

so yes, parents shouldn't be "yelling and reactive, commanding and demanding, having lost control of themselves" at all but remain in contriol of their own emotions

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 6 mins (2019-11-19 15:54:08 GMT)
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control!
Selected response from:

Yvonne Gallagher
Ireland
Local time: 14:11
Grading comment
Dear Yvonne, thank you so much for your help!
Many thanks also to all other participants, especially Milica for the useful link

4 KudoZ points were awarded for this answer



SUMMARY OF ALL EXPLANATIONS PROVIDED
4 +6always be consistent in emotional response...
Yvonne Gallagher
4purposely choosing how you are going to engage with or respond to your child and sticking with that
Milica Radojičić


  

Answers


3 mins   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5 peer agreement (net): +6
always be consistent in emotional response...


Explanation:
"... stay in charge of your emotions, when you remain thoughtful, measured, calm, and fair-minded."

be constant rather than changeable

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 6 mins (2019-11-19 15:53:40 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

"parents can maintain authority while prioritizing the relationship and maintaining self-control"

so yes, parents shouldn't be "yelling and reactive, commanding and demanding, having lost control of themselves" at all but remain in contriol of their own emotions

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 6 mins (2019-11-19 15:54:08 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

control!

Yvonne Gallagher
Ireland
Local time: 14:11
Specializes in field
Native speaker of: Native in EnglishEnglish
PRO pts in category: 496
Grading comment
Dear Yvonne, thank you so much for your help!
Many thanks also to all other participants, especially Milica for the useful link
Notes to answerer
Asker: Thank you very much, Yvonne!


Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
agree  Tina Vonhof: But it's not always easy!
24 mins
  -> Thanks:-) Very true! Hey, I even find myself yelling at the dog to stop barking! Rather contradictory??

agree  B D Finch
1 hr
  -> Thanks:-)

agree  Helena Chavarria: It's never been easy but I find it increasingly difficult to be cool, calm and collected when I'm with children.
1 hr
  -> Thanks:-) Yep! Ah kids these days!!... And we're supposed to be more patient as we get older! LOL

agree  AllegroTrans
9 hrs
  -> Many thanks:-)

agree  Roberta Broccoletti
9 hrs
  -> Many thanks:-)

agree  katsy: and agree with Tina and Helena.... :-)
17 hrs
  -> Many thanks:-) Oh yes :-)
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13 mins   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5
purposely choosing how you are going to engage with or respond to your child and sticking with that


Explanation:
In terms of parenting, consistency may be tied to how you connect with your child emotionally or how your family operates with getting things done. On the emotional side, consistency means purposely choosing how you are going to engage with or respond to your child, and not varying with that choice over time.



    https://www.verywellfamily.com/why-does-consistency-matter-in-parenting-4135227
Milica Radojičić
Serbia
Local time: 15:11
Specializes in field
Native speaker of: Native in SerbianSerbian
Notes to answerer
Asker: Thank you very much, Milica, for your help and the useful link!

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