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upsetting actions

English translation: actions that the reader/client finds upsetting

GLOSSARY ENTRY (DERIVED FROM QUESTION BELOW)
English term or phrase:upsetting actions
Selected answer:actions that the reader/client finds upsetting
Entered by: B D Finch

17:27 Jul 4, 2014
English language (monolingual) [Non-PRO]
Social Sciences - Psychology
English term or phrase: upsetting actions
'When you are emotionally upset, try saying what you feel like doing rather than actually doing it. When your partner is upset, try to discern what he or she is feeling that may be driving your partner’s upsetting actions.' A. Christensen 'Reconcilable differences'

'Upsetting actions' as I understand here are these actions that upset us (not the partner) - the partner is upset and he is doing something that upsets us (irritates or harm, something unpleasant). A bit unclear to me... So what are 'upsetting actions' in this context?
rzezucha
actions that the reader/client finds upsetting
Explanation:
Describing the partner's actions as "upsetting" is non-judgmental about their intentions or whether the actions are objectively bad; it recognises and respects the client's subjective perception and reaction.
Selected response from:

B D Finch
France
Local time: 07:31
Grading comment
Selected automatically based on peer agreement.
4 KudoZ points were awarded for this answer



SUMMARY OF ALL EXPLANATIONS PROVIDED
4 +2actions that the reader/client finds upsetting
B D Finch
5unpleasant deeds
Zsofia Koszegi-Nagy


Discussion entries: 2





  

Answers


2 hrs   confidence: Answerer confidence 5/5
unpleasant deeds


Explanation:
Deeds that are unpleasant and/or upsetting for the partner and/or the rest of the family. These deeds are not necessarily harmful, but might be.

Zsofia Koszegi-Nagy
United Kingdom
Local time: 06:31
Native speaker of: Native in HungarianHungarian

Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
agree  Peter Simon
1 hr
  -> Thanks!
disagree  B D Finch: "Unpleasant" would be judgemental and making an objective statement, whereas "upsetting" is non-judgemental and is recognising the client's subjective perception. There is also a difference between "deeds" and "action".
18 hrs
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20 hrs   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5 peer agreement (net): +2
actions that the reader/client finds upsetting


Explanation:
Describing the partner's actions as "upsetting" is non-judgmental about their intentions or whether the actions are objectively bad; it recognises and respects the client's subjective perception and reaction.

B D Finch
France
Local time: 07:31
Works in field
Native speaker of: English
PRO pts in category: 8
Grading comment
Selected automatically based on peer agreement.

Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
agree  Natalia Volkova
11 days
  -> Thanks Natalia
agree  Björn Vrooman: Bit hesitant about slash: Strictly speaking, I can read the book (reader) to explain the situation to someone else (client). //Was referring to "objective statement" above: Depending on the social theory used, there is no such thing as objective :)
42 days
  -> Thanks Bjorn. The slash is because the ST is actually ambiguous. "Non'judgemental" qualifies the description of both intentions and actions. "Objectively" modifies the badness (or absence thereof) of the actions (but not the intentions)being described.
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