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French to English translations [Non-PRO] Government / Politics
French term or phrase:rendre
How can I incorporate the idea of "giving back" or "returning" into this translation, or maybe it's not needed. Suggestions?
La particularité du sens du bien public est de ***rendre le sujet sensible*** aux idéalités, à des abstractions, tel la probité publique, l’intérêt général, et le bien public qui peuvent alors être pour lui des mobiles d’action.
The distinguishing feature of the public good is that it makes manifest idealities and abstractions, such as public probity, general interest and public good, which can then be motives for action.
Explanation: The idea of "giving back" or "returning" is not merely not required, it is not appropriate and not present in the ST.
Quite honestly, your proposed translation is so poorly worded and packed with translation errors, that I do not think that KudoZ is an appropriate forum to address it.
Funny enough, your original question points to the whole misunderstanding. It is indeed the acquired "sense of public interest" which makes the subject aware of various things, including the public interest itself. The argument is not perfectly circular, but still, I see why you were puzzled - your solution however destroyed the question, and some very sharp translators lost patience, that's all.
Re your note: "Ok, come on! Tell exactly what is so horrendous about this translation. I'm obviously missing something major. Why don't you just help me out and tell me what it is? Or if there are multiple horrible problems, pick one big one. I would be very grateful. "
I repeat what Tony wrote below: "this forum is not appropriate for in-depth analysis and free translation correction and editing."
Thank you, Nikki. That's what I needed. And now I know what type of thing I personally need to make sure I look out for. I see what I did wrong. Thanks again.
Might I suggest for example, that when you say the subject is made perceptible, you have altered the meaning of the original. In the French original, the subject is doing the perceiving, not the one being perceived. You may find that breaking the sentence up will help, but I think that you need to give a little more thought to what the original is getting at. When I can't get it, I leave the computer for a while, have a cuppa etc. Sometimes works. ;-)
Well, not exactly! There is no "circular argument" when one reads the text extremely attentively — you can see the very important distortion that simply makes it look that way at first sight.
To be fair, there are also mistakes in the French. "Bien public" is repeated, which creates a meaningless circular argument, and "intérêt général" means the same thing.
Sadly not — your proposed translation still appears to suffer from many problems and to be very far removed from the original text. I originally thought perhaps this was deliberate, but in the light of your reworking, I am beginning to fear perhaps it isn't.
The distinguishing feature of the public good is that it renders the subject perceptible to idealities and abstractions, such as public probity, general interest and public good, which can then be motives for action.
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Answers
9 mins confidence: peer agreement (net): +5
render / make
Explanation: The idea of "giving back" or "returning" is not merely not required, it is not appropriate and not present in the ST.
Quite honestly, your proposed translation is so poorly worded and packed with translation errors, that I do not think that KudoZ is an appropriate forum to address it.
B D Finch France Local time: 22:21 Specializes in field Native speaker of: English PRO pts in category: 123
Notes to answerer
Asker: Ok, come on! Tell exactly what is so horrendous about this translation. I'm obviously missing something major. Why don't you just help me out and tell me what it is? Or if there are multiple horrible problems, pick one big one. I would be very grateful.
peer agreement (net): +5