awkward sentence

English translation: reduces/d the breakdown of ... increases/d the build-up of ...

16:01 Apr 30, 2010
English language (monolingual) [Non-PRO]
Medical - Medical (general)
English term or phrase: awkward sentence
The medicine also reduces the breakdown of fat and muscle; increased the build up of fat and muscle and reduced fatigue which may be the cause for its beneficial effects in cancer.

I could not comprehend it properly despite repeated efforts. Could you plz. explain it?

Regards,

Chopra
Rajan Chopra
India
Local time: 11:19
Selected answer:reduces/d the breakdown of ... increases/d the build-up of ...
Explanation:
It is the wandering tenses that make it look odd. It is important to know whether the writer meant to use the present or past tense, however it seems unlikely that there is any justification for switching between them.

Present tense if it is an established fact (based on various, independent tests and acceptance within the profession), past tense if it is the results of a test.

The use of the phrase "the cause for" also indicates the writer is not a native speaker of English.

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Note added at 17 hrs (2010-05-01 09:02:40 GMT)
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The semi-colon after the first "muscle" should be a comma and there should be a comma before "which". A comma after the second "muscle" might seem to help reading the list because of the two "and"s; however, it would lead to confusion because it would appear to be paired with the one before "which".
Selected response from:

B D Finch
France
Local time: 07:49
Grading comment
Thanks to both of you.
4 KudoZ points were awarded for this answer



SUMMARY OF ALL EXPLANATIONS PROVIDED
4 +1reduces/d the breakdown of ... increases/d the build-up of ...
B D Finch
3 +1; it has been shown to increase....and....
Veronika McLaren


Discussion entries: 2





  

Answers


3 mins   confidence: Answerer confidence 3/5Answerer confidence 3/5 peer agreement (net): +1
; it has been shown to increase....and....


Explanation:
The verb tenses make the sentence unclear.

Veronika McLaren
Local time: 01:49
Works in field
Native speaker of: Native in GermanGerman, Native in EnglishEnglish

Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
agree  Jack Doughty
6 mins
  -> Thank you - also for the added suggestions
Login to enter a peer comment (or grade)

13 mins   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5 peer agreement (net): +1
reduces/d the breakdown of ... increases/d the build-up of ...


Explanation:
It is the wandering tenses that make it look odd. It is important to know whether the writer meant to use the present or past tense, however it seems unlikely that there is any justification for switching between them.

Present tense if it is an established fact (based on various, independent tests and acceptance within the profession), past tense if it is the results of a test.

The use of the phrase "the cause for" also indicates the writer is not a native speaker of English.

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 17 hrs (2010-05-01 09:02:40 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

The semi-colon after the first "muscle" should be a comma and there should be a comma before "which". A comma after the second "muscle" might seem to help reading the list because of the two "and"s; however, it would lead to confusion because it would appear to be paired with the one before "which".

B D Finch
France
Local time: 07:49
Native speaker of: English
PRO pts in category: 24
Grading comment
Thanks to both of you.

Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
agree  Tina Vonhof (X): A comma after 'muscle' would help.
1 hr
  -> Thanks Tina, see my note above on the punctuation.
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