make sentence more clear

English translation: The detection means consists of at least one ionizing particles detector comprising a first, a secon

16:56 Dec 26, 2007
English language (monolingual) [PRO]
Tech/Engineering - Medical: Instruments
English term or phrase: make sentence more clear
This is for a patent and I have to keep it as one sentence.

My first question is - is it clear that "and a first, a second and a third flat electrode" refers to "ionizing particles detector " that is "ionizing particles detector comprising a gas chamber ..., and a first, a second and a third flat electrode". Maybe a comma should be added before "provided " ?

The second question is if the word "inlet" is ok here or some other word like "entrance", "entering" would be better.

Thank you!


===
The detecting means comprise at least one ionizing particles detector comprising a gas chamber provided with a window for lateral or frontal inlet of the illumination beam, and a first, a second and a third flat electrode, being placed parallel with one another.
===
Alexander Onishko
Selected answer:The detection means consists of at least one ionizing particles detector comprising a first, a secon
Explanation:
The detection means [or means of detection] consists of at least one ionizing particles detector comprising a first, a second and a third flat electrode [or 3 flat electrodes], placed parallel to each other and a gas chamber with a window that allows lateral or frontal admission of the illumination beam.
Selected response from:

Suzan Hamer
Netherlands
Local time: 23:24
Grading comment
Selected automatically based on peer agreement.
4 KudoZ points were awarded for this answer



SUMMARY OF ALL EXPLANATIONS PROVIDED
4 +2The detection means consists of at least one ionizing particles detector comprising a first, a secon
Suzan Hamer
3a colon after comprising?
Hervé du Verle


  

Answers


15 mins   confidence: Answerer confidence 3/5Answerer confidence 3/5
a colon after comprising?


Explanation:
this is a quite similar - if not the source - sentence (which is then quite clear):

[...]illuminated by the flat illumination beam, wherein said detecting means comprise at least one ionizing particles detector comprising at least:

one gas chamber provided with an inlet window for said illumination beam, and in this gas chamber,

a first, a second and a third flat electrode, each flat electrode being placed parallel with one another in order to form a conversion space for the conversion of the illumination beam into electrons and an amplification space for the amplification by multiplication of these electrons, said inlet window being placed at the level of the conversion space in order to ensure the inlet of said illumination beam into said conversion space, said amplification space having an amplification length which is formed by the distance separating said second and said third electrodes, of less than 200 µm, [...]

http://www.patentstorm.us/patents/5959302-claims.html

Hervé du Verle
Local time: 17:24
Specializes in field
Native speaker of: Native in FrenchFrench
PRO pts in category: 8
Notes to answerer
Asker: thank you for your research ... but how this sentence you have found can help me with mine ?

Login to enter a peer comment (or grade)

1 hr   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5 peer agreement (net): +2
The detection means consists of at least one ionizing particles detector comprising a first, a secon


Explanation:
The detection means [or means of detection] consists of at least one ionizing particles detector comprising a first, a second and a third flat electrode [or 3 flat electrodes], placed parallel to each other and a gas chamber with a window that allows lateral or frontal admission of the illumination beam.

Suzan Hamer
Netherlands
Local time: 23:24
Native speaker of: English
PRO pts in category: 4
Grading comment
Selected automatically based on peer agreement.

Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
agree  Gert Sass (M.A.): Plus comma added: "[... electrodes], placed parallel to each other*,* and a gas chamber ..."
6 hrs
  -> Thanks, Gert. Yes, I should have sealed off that phrase with a comma. Thanks for catching that.

agree  orientalhorizon
7 hrs
  -> Thank you.
Login to enter a peer comment (or grade)



Login or register (free and only takes a few minutes) to participate in this question.

You will also have access to many other tools and opportunities designed for those who have language-related jobs (or are passionate about them). Participation is free and the site has a strict confidentiality policy.

KudoZ™ translation help

The KudoZ network provides a framework for translators and others to assist each other with translations or explanations of terms and short phrases.


See also:
Term search
  • All of ProZ.com
  • Term search
  • Jobs
  • Forums
  • Multiple search