Phrase (sorry to ask for it)...

English translation: structure (see below)

02:28 Aug 31, 2006
Russian to English translations [PRO]
Law (general)
Russian term or phrase: Phrase (sorry to ask for it)...
"Ой, тяжко-тяжко мне-е-е-е..."(на какой-то мотив, отдаленно напоминающий песни бурлаков).

Бьюсь с заказчиком (довольно известным американским русскоязычным адвокатом в области спорта) по поводу структуры длиннющего предложения. Точнее его последней (примерно десятой) части, которая звучит так (соблюдена орфография оригинала):

"... с уважением требуем вынесения решения арбитражного комитета о немедленном исполнении выше указанного пункта, запрещающего ИМЯРЕК ..... делать то-то и то-то".

Мой вариант давать не буду (как и его), чтобы не ставить никого в позицию одобрения или осуждения. Интересует исключительно структура фразы. Заранее спасибо.
Mark Vaintroub
Canada
Local time: 04:46
English translation:structure (see below)
Explanation:
I'm not sure if this is what you have in mind, but here goes:

(In English)
Subject + Adverb + Verb + Dependent Clause (replacing the string of nouns вынесения решения арбитражного комитета which is characteristic of Russian but not of English) + Dependent Clause (replacing запрещающего)

We respectfully request that the Arbitration Committee immediately enforce the above-mentioned paragraph, which prohibits IMIAREK from (doing this, that, and the other).

"... с уважением требуем вынесения решения арбитражного комитета о немедленном исполнении выше указанного пункта, запрещающего ИМЯРЕК ..... делать то-то и то-то".

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 12 час (2006-08-31 15:12:44 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

Other examples of this structure:

Subject + Adverb + Verb + Dependent Clause + Dependent Clause

We respectfully request that NASA provide no further funding to the subject BWB project until Boeing-McDonnell Douglas makes appropriate formal arrangements
http://www.aircrash.org/burnelli/jan29_97.htm

We respectfully request that you agree to welcome a delegation of Nobel Peace Laureates to your country so that we might meet with you and your colleagues
http://www.amnesty.org.il/data/myanmar4.html

We respectfully request that the Court include in its Order the provisions from the Temporary Injunction Order providing that Mr. Brown be paid for his time
http://unixguru.com/filings/letter_2_court.html
Selected response from:

Deborah Hoffman
Local time: 04:46
Grading comment
Thanks to all and especially to Deborah and Jennifer.
4 KudoZ points were awarded for this answer



Summary of answers provided
3 +5ниже
Jennifer Guernsey
4 +3ниже
koundelev
3 +4сначала о русском предл-ии, а уж потом..
Vladimir Dubisskiy
5structure (see below)
Deborah Hoffman
4No answer, just a note
Alexander Demyanov


Discussion entries: 3





  

Answers


11 mins   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5 peer agreement (net): +3
ниже


Explanation:
"... с уважением требуем вынесения решения арбитражного комитета о немедленном исполнении выше указанного пункта, запрещающего ИМЯРЕК ..... делать то-то и то-то".

...respectfully requst for the Arbitrary Committee's decision for immediate implementation of the above paragraph forbidding XXX to do this and that.

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 22 mins (2006-08-31 02:51:05 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

конечно же, ON IMPLEMENTATION - это я после кофе додумался

koundelev
Local time: 11:46
Works in field
Native speaker of: Native in RussianRussian
PRO pts in category: 79

Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
agree  Sergei_A: With all due respect, we...
19 mins
  -> Спасибо!

agree  Alexander Demyanov: Agree with "respectfully". The REST may need some work.
11 hrs
  -> Thanks! Mark was inrerested more in the configuration than the wording... Now he's got the client's version, his own version, and 3 more...

agree  Olga Dubeshka (X): I am with George on this one... I think you could say "with all due respect" if it were oral translation. "Respectfully" sounds better on the paper.Also, I would say "enforcement" - a bit stronger than "implementation"
15 hrs
  -> Thanks! As to "enforcement", yes, I did note it among the Vladimir's versions as the most suitable...
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1 hr   confidence: Answerer confidence 3/5Answerer confidence 3/5 peer agreement (net): +5
ниже


Explanation:
My version, which borrows liberally from others' versions:

...with all due respect, we demand that the board of arbitration render a decision to immediately enforce the above clause forbidding XXX to do X and Y.

*Instead of "render a decision", you could "render a verdict"--though I think of a verdict as resulting more from a jury trial, my preference here is for decision
*Instead of "clause", you could use "paragraph", "item", or "section", depending on the context

Hope that is useful.

Jennifer Guernsey
United States
Local time: 04:46
Works in field
Native speaker of: English
PRO pts in category: 8

Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
agree  NATALIIA MARCHAL
15 mins
  -> thanks!

agree  Сергей Лузан: the above ... forbidding XXX to do X (this) and Y (that)
2 hrs
  -> thanks!

agree  Jack Doughty
2 hrs
  -> thanks!

agree  Peter Shortall
7 hrs
  -> thanks!

agree  Dorene Cornwell: or issue a decision, issue a ruling, rule
15 hrs
  -> Thanks for the "friendly agreement." I like "issue" even better than "render" here. Not crazy about "rule" by itself, simply because it wouldn't connect well with the follow-on clause (to immediately enforce...).
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30 mins   confidence: Answerer confidence 3/5Answerer confidence 3/5 peer agreement (net): +4
сначала о русском предл-ии, а уж потом..


Explanation:
правильно будет: требуем (чего?) вынесения решения (кем?) арбитражнЫМ комитетОМ (о чем?) о ...

With all due respect we expect the arbitration board (committee) to pass a verdict requiring immediate executuon \ enforcement of the above mentioned para, preventing \ prohibiting XXX from doing this and that.

or

With all due respect we expect the arbitration board (committee) to pass a verdict on the immediate execution \ enforcement of the above mentioned para to prevent XXX from doing this and that.


--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 4 hrs (2006-08-31 07:10:59 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

with demand:

How about this:

(We) demand [from] the esteemed arbitration committee to pass a verdict requiring immediate enforcement of the above mentioned para, prohibiting XXX from doing this and that.


Vladimir Dubisskiy
United States
Local time: 03:46
Specializes in field
Native speaker of: Native in RussianRussian, Native in UkrainianUkrainian
PRO pts in category: 99

Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
agree  koundelev: enforcement - это оно...
22 mins
  -> эге ж - спасибо!

agree  ochkarik: хотя не уверена - "verdict" или "decision"
27 mins
  -> решение после разбирательства - я бы сказал "verdict" (как "вывод").

agree  Vlad Pogosyan
4 hrs

agree  Natalie Lyssova: with your latest version
6 hrs
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11 hrs   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5
No answer, just a note


Explanation:
With all due respect, I have to comment on the use of "with all due respect" suggested by Vladimir and Jennifer. "With all due respect" in this context reads to me roughly like "Well, we do respect you guys on the committee and all that bull, but it's about time for you to stop kidding and produce the decision we demand from you". OK, maybe not quite the mockingly. Nevertheless, the phrase "...с уважением требуем вынесения решения " is an apparent carbon copy from "respectfully demand ...", not "with all due respect". So George's beginning is more on the money, even though the rest of his wording needs some work.

Alexander Demyanov
Local time: 04:46
Specializes in field
Native speaker of: Native in RussianRussian
PRO pts in category: 99
Login to enter a peer comment (or grade)

12 hrs   confidence: Answerer confidence 5/5
structure (see below)


Explanation:
I'm not sure if this is what you have in mind, but here goes:

(In English)
Subject + Adverb + Verb + Dependent Clause (replacing the string of nouns вынесения решения арбитражного комитета which is characteristic of Russian but not of English) + Dependent Clause (replacing запрещающего)

We respectfully request that the Arbitration Committee immediately enforce the above-mentioned paragraph, which prohibits IMIAREK from (doing this, that, and the other).

"... с уважением требуем вынесения решения арбитражного комитета о немедленном исполнении выше указанного пункта, запрещающего ИМЯРЕК ..... делать то-то и то-то".

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 12 час (2006-08-31 15:12:44 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

Other examples of this structure:

Subject + Adverb + Verb + Dependent Clause + Dependent Clause

We respectfully request that NASA provide no further funding to the subject BWB project until Boeing-McDonnell Douglas makes appropriate formal arrangements
http://www.aircrash.org/burnelli/jan29_97.htm

We respectfully request that you agree to welcome a delegation of Nobel Peace Laureates to your country so that we might meet with you and your colleagues
http://www.amnesty.org.il/data/myanmar4.html

We respectfully request that the Court include in its Order the provisions from the Temporary Injunction Order providing that Mr. Brown be paid for his time
http://unixguru.com/filings/letter_2_court.html

Deborah Hoffman
Local time: 04:46
Specializes in field
Native speaker of: English
PRO pts in category: 75
Grading comment
Thanks to all and especially to Deborah and Jennifer.
Login to enter a peer comment (or grade)



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