| Pages in topic: < [1 2] | Off topic: Stupid/offensive/laughable things you hear from project managers Thread poster: Miguel Carmona
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| That's not the worst yet | Aug 18, 2015 |
Miguel Carmona wrote:
Something similar actually happened to me. The client wanted me to translate an entire web site. I had been translating for the company for several years, and I was familiar with their technical material. I said, "Sure, please send me all the files you want translated". She said, "No, that is not necessary. Just visit the site, all is there".
By the way, the site was not a small one. There was not only the numerous web pages, but also a very large amount of PDF files of white papers, legal stuff, technical stuff. Translating all that would take probably years.
How can you deal with somebody like that? How can you embark on the unpaid, ardous task of explaining things to such minds?
A supposedly large and famous translation agency - their online translator application takes hours to complete - once sent me the URL and password to their entire FTP site. My instructions were to "go there, find all files in English related to (company name) that do NOT have the corresponding translation into BR Portuguese there yet, and translate them!" Several dozen folders, each having its own share of sub-folders, dozens of files in each, many different languages, no file naming standard other than random... I simply had to bail out!
| | | | 564354352 (X) 
Denmark
Local time: 03:15
Danish to English
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| How long is a piece of string? | Aug 18, 2015 |
During my years as a full-time technical translator for a production company, I was assigned the job of translating the complete technical documentation for a very large engineering project. This would include technical specifications, system descriptions, installation instructions, safety instructions, maintenance guidelines, replacement instructions etc. I had a meeting with the technical writer who presented a list of document names to me and asked: "How long will it take you to translate the... See more During my years as a full-time technical translator for a production company, I was assigned the job of translating the complete technical documentation for a very large engineering project. This would include technical specifications, system descriptions, installation instructions, safety instructions, maintenance guidelines, replacement instructions etc. I had a meeting with the technical writer who presented a list of document names to me and asked: "How long will it take you to translate these? I need to know so that I can plot this into my work schedule". I asked him how big each of the files was, and he said that he didn't know, because he hadn't started writing them yet. I patiently explained that until I knew the scope of the complete documentation, I couldn't possibly tell him how long it would take me to translate it. At first, he was furious with me for being so difficult. Then, when our mutual boss finally supported me (even he took some convincing), the technical writer almost broke into tears, stating that he had spent ages working out which documents he needed to include and making a plan for the completion of the project...
I was such a bad girl, I know... ▲ Collapse
| | | | Mervyn Henderson (X)
Spain
Local time: 03:15
Spanish to English
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| Ah yes, the Piece of String ... | Aug 18, 2015 |
May I make so bold as to quote from the LT tribulations, written in another life years ago now:
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Now, I’d like you Prozers to help me out here, as hard-bitten word merchants – why is it with some customers that you have to drag the information out of them? One rang last week, for instance: “Hello Little Translator, can you do a translation for me? It’s frightfully urgent.”
Which is a bit like rushing into a fishmonger’s and saying “Can you sell m... See more May I make so bold as to quote from the LT tribulations, written in another life years ago now:
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Now, I’d like you Prozers to help me out here, as hard-bitten word merchants – why is it with some customers that you have to drag the information out of them? One rang last week, for instance: “Hello Little Translator, can you do a translation for me? It’s frightfully urgent.”
Which is a bit like rushing into a fishmonger’s and saying “Can you sell me a fish? I need a fish right now.”
“Let’s say you tell me a little about the job, hmm? Talk me through it, will you?" I suggested to Helen. Not her real name, of course. Discretion is everything, I know that, particularly on this site, and so the simple deontological requisites of our profession prevent me revealing her real name. “The combination? French-English? Spanish? Basque, perhaps?"
“Oh, I’m not sure, maybe, yes, could be.”
“Which? What’s it about? How many words? What’s it in, Word, pdf, Excel, PowerPoint? For when?” I asked, all in rapid succession, because with a girl like Helen, if you asked all these one by one, you’d be there until the cows go back out again after they’ve come home.
“Well, not sure, really, you see, I haven’t actually received it yet. They say they’re just putting the final touches to it, and it'll be sent anytime now. In half an hour, or maybe an hour. Or a couple of hours. All I know is that it’s urgent”, she said, giggling nervously.
Sound familiar?
As we all do on these occasions, I drew a deep breath. “So", I sighed into the phone, “to sum up, you’re asking me if I can do a translation from an unknown language, an unknown amount of words, on an unknown subject, in an unknown format, for an unknown deadline, but presumably double-quick, and your customer, Helen, is eating away at our deadline as we speak, since they won’t give it to us yet, although I imagine their own little urgency clock is already tick-tick-ticking.”
“Who’s Helen?” she asked, sounding rather puzzled. “Tanya, Tanya, my name is - Tanya Miller”.
“Sssh, I mean, it doesn't matter, Helen. I have a question for you now - how long is a piece of string?"
“What do you mean?" said she. “A piece of string? Depends on the string, doesn’t it? And why do you keep calling me Helen?”
“Look, just forget it, will you?” I asked her. “And yes, it does depend on the string, doesn’t it?”, I added. "Lots of unknowns there with that piece of string, so you can’t tell me anything about it, can you? It could be an inch long, a foot long, two feet, or a mile long. Rather like this mysterious rushy-rushy translation of yours. Tell you what, when you’ve got it, send it, and I’ll have our Estimates Department run their beady eye over it to work out our rate, OK?".
…
Oops, I said the four-letter word. Rate. Can you tell what's coming? …
…”The rate?” says she. “Oh no, the rate is already settled. This is a regular customer of ours, so you'd be paid x euro per word."
Isn’t it odd how the rate always comes at the end of the conversation, and isn’t it curious how it’s always the translator who mentions it first? Or is it just me?
I considered the futility of wasting more of my time and, less importantly, hers, by saying: “What, you’ve already set a price for a job you know nothing about, and you expect me to .....?", but what’s the point? I told her I’d be in touch and gently put the phone down, politely leaving the problem most definitely still with her and not with me.
Which is the most important bit.
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| | | | Miguel Carmona
United States
Local time: 18:15
English to Spanish
TOPIC STARTER
José Henrique Lamensdorf wrote:
My instructions were to "go there, find all files in English related to (company name) that do NOT have the corresponding translation into BR Portuguese there yet, and translate them!" Several dozen folders, each having its own share of sub-folders, dozens of files in each, many different languages, no file naming standard other than random... I simply had to bail out!
Yes. My experience was similar. I remember the extensive folder tree. I simply could not come up with an estimate that way, not knowing exactly which of that enormous amount of files she wanted translated, and she would not provide the specific files either, not even a list of them. Obviously she did not know what she was talking about and had no idea of the magnitude of the task.
I wasted a lot of time downloading files (not manually, of course) and, in the end, naturally, no deal.
[Edited at 2015-08-18 18:25 GMT]
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In such cases I think I'd just quote half a million dollars for the whole project, paid up front. "Unless you send me the exact files you need translated within the week, then I'll see about giving you a generous discount." That should solve it.
| | | | Miguel Carmona
United States
Local time: 18:15
English to Spanish
TOPIC STARTER
Andrzej Mierzejewski wrote:
In some cultures, "thank you personally" might be understood as "thank you heartfully/from all of my heart", etc. The lady was attempting - in my understanding - to communicate her appreciation to you in a private rather than official way.
Well, I do not think that in the USA, with its culture based on practicality, casualness and straightforwardness, that word would be interpreted the way you say, certainly not coming from an office employee.
| | | | | So happy to know that The Little Translator still exists! | Aug 18, 2015 |
Mervyn Henderson wrote:
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Now, I’d like you Prozers to help me out here, as hard-bitten word merchants – why is it with some customers that you have to drag the information out of them? One rang last week, for instance: “Hello Little Translator, can you do a translation for me? It’s frightfully urgent.”
How many of us who are reading here still remember? I absolutely loved it!!!
Hope there will be possibly more sequels, thank you anyway, Mervyn!
| | | | Miguel Carmona
United States
Local time: 18:15
English to Spanish
TOPIC STARTER
Balasubramaniam L. wrote:
Wallet left in car
This is the excuse I got from a client when I took him to task for late payment. He told me he had been on a trip to somewhere in a friend's car, and has forgottem his wallet in the glove compartment of the car. The friend has now taken off to a distant location and he is unlikely to meet him, or his car, till the next weekend is over. Since the wallet contained all his credit cards, he couldn't pay me till then!
This is the absurdest excuse I have so far managed in my 30 years as a translator for late payment.
What a tale he told you! This one is absolutely ridiculous. I never heard anything like it before.
Thank you for sharing, Bala.
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| Sorry, my wife has just had a baby | Aug 18, 2015 |
This has to be the most laughable excuse for late payment that I have ever received.
I sent the invoice in September, with 30-day payment terms. No payment came.
Sent email reminders in November and December. Absolutely no response. Tried phoning – no answer. Eventually, in January, I wrote and said I was about to put it in the hands of my lawyer. At which point my invoice was paid immediately and the guy sent me an email saying "So sorry not to have paid sooner, but my wif... See more This has to be the most laughable excuse for late payment that I have ever received.
I sent the invoice in September, with 30-day payment terms. No payment came.
Sent email reminders in November and December. Absolutely no response. Tried phoning – no answer. Eventually, in January, I wrote and said I was about to put it in the hands of my lawyer. At which point my invoice was paid immediately and the guy sent me an email saying "So sorry not to have paid sooner, but my wife has just yesterday given birth to our first child."
I reckon that has to be the longest birth in history. ▲ Collapse
| | | | Miguel Carmona
United States
Local time: 18:15
English to Spanish
TOPIC STARTER
Phoebe Ruth wrote:
This has to be the most laughable excuse for late payment that I have ever received.
I sent the invoice in September, with 30-day payment terms. No payment came.
Sent email reminders in November and December. Absolutely no response. Tried phoning – no answer. Eventually, in January, I wrote and said I was about to put it in the hands of my lawyer. At which point my invoice was paid immediately and the guy sent me an email saying "So sorry not to have paid sooner, but my wife has just yesterday given birth to our first child."
I reckon that has to be the longest birth in history.
Ha, Ha, Ha!
This is very funny!
You could almost say that the baby was already 3 months old when he/she was born.
Thank you, Phoebe!
[Edited at 2015-08-18 20:32 GMT]
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