| Pages in topic: < [1 2 3] | Please and thank you Thread poster: Claire Titchmarsh (X)
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B M-C 
Local time: 11:16
English to Spanish
| Depends on the language | Sep 9, 2008 |
My little one is almost 4. In Spain, as in Italy, you only say please and thank you if you "really" mean it, but it's not automatic. Por favor doesn't roll out of your tongue as easily as please and people are economical. Also, saying "please" and "thank you" and "may I" and so on in Spanish as often as you do in English sounds really affected and "cursi" to be honest. So for my daughter:
Can I have this please, mami?
Me das ésto mami?
Both sound correct in thei... See more My little one is almost 4. In Spain, as in Italy, you only say please and thank you if you "really" mean it, but it's not automatic. Por favor doesn't roll out of your tongue as easily as please and people are economical. Also, saying "please" and "thank you" and "may I" and so on in Spanish as often as you do in English sounds really affected and "cursi" to be honest. So for my daughter:
Can I have this please, mami?
Me das ésto mami?
Both sound correct in their own language and I am happy with both. So basically, I expect different things according to the language/culture we are using at the precise moment. Not saying she never says polite words in Spanish, just less often, which is what comes naturally to me (native Spanish)
In order to get a toddler to say please/thank you, best thing is selective deafness and repetition. They understand pretty fast that nothing gets handed to them unless the magic word appears and that mummy and daddy dont let go until they hear thank you.
The terrible twos are REALLY terrible...don't worry, they pass. ▲ Collapse
| | | | | Linguistic relativity... | Sep 16, 2008 |
George Hopkins wrote:
It’s almost in the genes.
I tell my Swedish friends that when they are in Britain the most important words in the English language are: please, thank you, and excuse me.
Swedish has no word for please. I still miss it after more than fifty years. But the Swedes offer thanks continually, ie, tack, or very often tack, tack.
Ahh, nice to be reminded that Finnish is not alone in that (i.e. having no word for "please")
In fact, to me it seems (also from reading other posts here) that *English* might be almost alone in having that word and using it so much!!
(Nice to come back to this topic 2 years after my post in the previous page. I still stand behind everything I wrote there...)
[Edited at 2008-09-16 08:52]
| | | | Lingua 5B
Bosnia and Herzegovina
Local time: 12:16
Member (2009)
English to Croatian
+ ...
Claire Titchmarsh wrote:
Does anyone else have a problem with differences in culture, not just in language, when teaching your children to speak? I'll explain - my daughter (bilingual IT-EN) is 2 and a half, and refuses to say please or thank you. This is partly (in fact mostly) because it is never reinforced by anyone else in the family (or friends) apart from me. One of the first things I noticed when I came to Italy is that it's OK for little children to snatch things or take things without worrying much about per favore and grazie. Perhaps it's my rigid British upbringing but it really winds me up. On the whole, and having been an EFL teacher, I find that Italian children are allowed to get away with much more than in the UK (shouting, interrupting etc). Are Brits just intolerant? Does anyone else have similar problems and solutions? (I'd be glad to hear from anyone with culture clashes not just in Italy or UK).
Thank you, and grazie.
Hello Claire,
A very interesting topic to discuss indeed.
I've noticed the same difference between the kids in UK and Bosnian kids. Please note that Balkan's culture resembles Italian culture in this regard :
- no words such as please, thank you, or alike, in common usage. On the other hand, if you do say please and thank you, people will look at you as if something were wrong with you, or you were showing off, and similar. If I apply these cultural differences properly, for example while translating a manual - in UK/US manual, you will see "please" preceding almost each instruction. It is not translated into Bosnian, because it will sound weird and unadapted ( cultural basis). So, "please" is practically omitted in translation, for stylistic reasons.
- people never smile at each other , say in some public situations such as bank clerks, shop workers, and other service workers etc, which I noticed is a common cultural trait in UK : smile as a form of greeting and respect. Smile is almost like a " hello " in England. It does NOT exist in Bosnia or Italy.
- about kids : I noticed precisely equal occurrence. Kids in UK are well-behaved and almost army trained, whereas kids in Bosnia will almost jump at the top of your head in their parent's presence and they will never be criticized about it by their parents.
No, Brits are NOT intolerant. They simply teach their kids to be well-behaved and responsible, and it is such a breath of fresh air when you are coming from a culture like mine, trust me. From my point of view, it is much, much better. I didn't even realize how spoiled and bad-behaved Serb/Bosnian kids are until I have traveled to UK. I've been living between Bosnia and UK for the last ten years, so I believe I'm " qualified " for this kind of comparative analysis.
[Edited at 2009-01-10 23:28 GMT]
| | | | | More than words | Jan 15, 2009 |
I teach my children to speak my mother tongue, but I also teach them how to behave in the different countries and contexts, including good manners! So, when we visit, say, the grandparents in Spain, I insist that they are well-mannered rather than say constantly and rather unnaturally for the context, "please" and "TQ" all the time. I find that if they are trying to be polite and well-mannered the expressions of gratefulness and request do come out of them naturally.
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