| Pages in topic: < [1 2 3 4] > | Rules of trying to raise a child trilingual Thread poster: Britta Dennisen
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| Same situation | Sep 20, 2006 |
Hi Peter,
I just read your posting of a year ago, so your child must be 1yr old now! Which "technique" did you choose with your child? We are using OPOL.
I speak english to our 3.5 yr son & 20mth daughter, my husband speaks spanish and they hear french with his nanny, friends, tv, and now Ben just started ecole maternelle here in Toulouse. My husband and I speak English together.
I also have a 14-yr old whom I made the mistake of speaking only french to him and d... See more Hi Peter,
I just read your posting of a year ago, so your child must be 1yr old now! Which "technique" did you choose with your child? We are using OPOL.
I speak english to our 3.5 yr son & 20mth daughter, my husband speaks spanish and they hear french with his nanny, friends, tv, and now Ben just started ecole maternelle here in Toulouse. My husband and I speak English together.
I also have a 14-yr old whom I made the mistake of speaking only french to him and despite 10-yrs of learning english from school, he doesn't speak it well.
We don't have rules, we just do what is natural. When my eldest son is with us we all speak french (as he isn't fluent in the other languages) but we each switch to our own language when addressing our other children directly. Sometimes we start in french than realise my son is not listening and we switch to english. We all speak spanish when we're with his family and english with mine and french with our french friends.
BUT Ben is lagging behind in speech and we've already been "lectured" on this subject by his teacher, who wants us to speak only french to him! I doubt it is a language thing tho as his younger sister is speaking "normally" for her age.
And when trying to find a specialist here just to make sure nothing is wrong with him, I was told there was no one here specialised in multilingual children and that the reaction I had from school was unfortunately quite common! I have an appt with a normal therapist and hope she is open minded!
So be prepared to have obstacles & not just from the kids... but it seems it is worth it in the long run!
Good Luck!
P.S If you live in toulouse and have info on non-german bi-lingual schools, can you pass them onto me plse? Tks. ▲ Collapse
| | | | cess
Local time: 15:01
French to English
i just discovered this forum and i first wished to thank you all for these very helpful tips. I am French, my partner is German and we mostly communicate in English. I was wondering if any of you could recommend a book that deals with how to raise trilingual children.
best wishes
Cecile
| | | | | Rule is no rule! | May 14, 2007 |
Hi,
I am French, married to an Englishman and mum of a German toddler (well, through his birth he is German but on top of it he is also British and French of course).
When he was born we were living in Germany and I thought of leaving the German language to school, telly etc (although I speak and write German fluently) but I was afraid of getting the little one "mixed up" with too many languages. We moved to Wales 1 year ago so that I can forget the German for now although I regret ... See more Hi,
I am French, married to an Englishman and mum of a German toddler (well, through his birth he is German but on top of it he is also British and French of course).
When he was born we were living in Germany and I thought of leaving the German language to school, telly etc (although I speak and write German fluently) but I was afraid of getting the little one "mixed up" with too many languages. We moved to Wales 1 year ago so that I can forget the German for now although I regret it but even my plan of sticking to 1 language only when I speak to my son doesn't really work: when we are in the street or in the playgroup people address us in English so in order not to be rude I talk to him in English.
Even at home "only French" doesn't always really work: he has English books or nursery rhymes he learnt through the baby group or his English grandparents and when he shows me the books or does the gestures about the nursery rhymes, I have to give in and read or sing in English. But as soon as he is happy as it was done we switch back to French. So even if I was thinking when I was pregnant that I would have the golden rule of only speaking in French to him I must admit that now my rule is no rule, but fun!
As his father spends a lot of time away in Germany for work I think it is OK for me to "replace" him for the English books or songs when Ryan wants it... and otherwise it is all French between the two of us... and back to English when Daddy is here!
We still would like him to learn German (especially as we may have to go back for work one day) but for the moment I think it is OK with only 2 languages.
Catherine ▲ Collapse
| | | | | Give your gift with love... | May 14, 2007 |
Catherine Gorton wrote:
..... I was afraid of getting the little one "mixed up" with too many languages.
Sadly, this is heard all too often among bilingual couples. However, if they were to do any research into the area they would find that, far from confusing the child, bilingualism enriches the child's brain.
... in order not to be rude I talk to him in English.
Never let the gift you are giving your child be endangered by pandering to feelings of embarrassment among strangers. As long as it is clear that you are not talking about them, then other people have no right to have their curiosity or nosiness threaten your relationship with your child and the child's advancement in learning two (or more) languages.[/quote]
We still would like him to learn German
Then start now Catherine. Young kids absorb languages, they don't have the chore of learning them that the rest of us have from about 12 -14 onwards.
Good luck with your efforts, but remember, whatever you do, give the gift you are giving your child with love and it will all work out for the best.
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Fabio Descalzi 
Uruguay
Local time: 10:01
Member (2004)
German to Spanish
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| An example of "always in the same context" | Jun 12, 2007 |
Hi people
This doesn't pretend to be an example of trilingualism, but anyways the anecdote speaks by itself.
A couple of Spanish speakers lived and worked 8 years in Germany. There they married and had their baby girl born.
Back in Uruguay, with the baby some 3 months old, they recovered their habit of speaking Spanish all the time, but kept a special habitude: speak German in the car ("their second home", 'cos they live very far from their workplace, and even muc... See more Hi people
This doesn't pretend to be an example of trilingualism, but anyways the anecdote speaks by itself.
A couple of Spanish speakers lived and worked 8 years in Germany. There they married and had their baby girl born.
Back in Uruguay, with the baby some 3 months old, they recovered their habit of speaking Spanish all the time, but kept a special habitude: speak German in the car ("their second home", 'cos they live very far from their workplace, and even much farther from their parents' homes).
These days, the baby is 2 years old - and starts saying things in German whenever they are in the car!
Isn't it nice?
[Edited at 2007-06-12 22:26] ▲ Collapse
| | | | iuliab
German to Romanian
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| Mother 2 languages, father and community third language | Sep 11, 2007 |
We're expecting our first child and would like to raise our child trilingually. I am a Hungarian-Romanian bilingual, my husband is American, and we live in the US. Even though my husband is quite fluent in Romanian, we think it's better if he speaks his native language (English) to the child. There are no Hungarian or Romanian communities in this area, so I'm pretty much left with being the source of two languages. Is anybody else in a similar situation? I'd appreciate any suggestions.
| | | | Ulozas
Luxembourg
Local time: 15:01
| Right approach | Sep 20, 2007 |
Hi,
I think it is the right approach. But even better is to speak each other's languages. We speak just Lithuanian (father) and just Latvian (mother), children reply in the parent's language they speak to, between each other - depends, but at school the older boy speaks French, so he is a real trilingual. Kids associate language to a person or sometimes to a place (a French spoken room, for example).
| | | | | non-native trilingual parents | Jan 11, 2010 |
My husband and I speak Russian and Hebrew, respectively, as our second languages. We're thinking of raising our kids with him speaking Russian to them and me speaking Hebrew to them, and us speaking English to each other. We'll have back-up support with native Russian and Hebrew-speaking grandparents.
One concern we have is that our accents and/or vocabulary are not as advanced as native speakers of Russian or Hebrew. Each of us can get by in our 2nd language, and certainly speak ... See more My husband and I speak Russian and Hebrew, respectively, as our second languages. We're thinking of raising our kids with him speaking Russian to them and me speaking Hebrew to them, and us speaking English to each other. We'll have back-up support with native Russian and Hebrew-speaking grandparents.
One concern we have is that our accents and/or vocabulary are not as advanced as native speakers of Russian or Hebrew. Each of us can get by in our 2nd language, and certainly speak to children, but we'd like to give our children the best language skills possible. Any tips on whether it's worth raising them in our second languages?
Much appreciated! ▲ Collapse
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| Number of languages does not equal language skills | Jan 12, 2010 |
When you interact with your child, I suggest using the language that comes most naturally to you. You are first and foremost the mother of the child, you need to convey as much love and comfort as you possibly can. Don't forget, in most cases, most of the child's interactions during the first months or years are with the mother.
Can you interact with an infant/child naturally in your second language? Do you know nursery rhymes, songs, can you hum, coo in your second language? If it is an ... See more When you interact with your child, I suggest using the language that comes most naturally to you. You are first and foremost the mother of the child, you need to convey as much love and comfort as you possibly can. Don't forget, in most cases, most of the child's interactions during the first months or years are with the mother.
Can you interact with an infant/child naturally in your second language? Do you know nursery rhymes, songs, can you hum, coo in your second language? If it is an effort, that means it does not come to you naturally, and it may cause you to cut down on the amount of communication with your child, or use an unnatural tone or pitch when you speak. Babies can sense many things, including the discomfort of their mothers/fathers. They, of course do not know what the cause is, but they do feel if something is not right, and that may cause them discomfort. They need to feel secure, when they interact with their parents. The lack of that security may cause problems down the line, years later.
So, if you have native grandparents, it may be better to rely on them talking to your children in their languages, especially if they live close by and can spend time with the children often.
I understand your goal to "give our children the best language skills possible", but that does not necessarily mean exposing them to languages spoken by non-natives just for the sake of doing it. Natural language learning involves the self-discovery of certain patterns, and that is what can be messed up when language is learned in a non-systematic way from a non-native speaker. And then, of course, there is the problem of accent. This is precisely the reason I did not speak English to my son when he was a baby - English is not my native language, and I do have an accent - I did not want to mess up his language learning.
If you are just as comfortable in Hebrew as you are in English, then of course, no problem, the above does not apply.
Good luck
Katalin
[Edited at 2010-01-12 16:47 GMT] ▲ Collapse
| | | | | How do I ensure our daughter grows up to be bi-literate and tri-lingual? | Jan 13, 2010 |
Good afternoon members,
I speak English, Romany (the Eastern-Slovakia Dialect, which is not commonly used as a written language but mostly just as a spoken one.) and I have a good of knowledge of Slovak (I'm fairly literate in SK-Slovak). My wife speaks Romany and has a good knowledge of SK (but is unfortunetly illiterate). She also understands and can speak a little English. We communicate in Romany and live in England.
Before our daughter was born we decided to use t... See more Good afternoon members,
I speak English, Romany (the Eastern-Slovakia Dialect, which is not commonly used as a written language but mostly just as a spoken one.) and I have a good of knowledge of Slovak (I'm fairly literate in SK-Slovak). My wife speaks Romany and has a good knowledge of SK (but is unfortunetly illiterate). She also understands and can speak a little English. We communicate in Romany and live in England.
Before our daughter was born we decided to use the OPOL system. So when she was born I spoke to her in English and my wife in Romany.
Nearly a year later we were planning to get a house with my wife's mother, sister, brother-in-law. I saw this as a great language oppertunity for my daughter. So whilst on holiday in Slovakia I bought numerous SK books and toys.
Age - 1 Year old
They moved in and I asked them to speak to our daughter in SK (as they all could speak it fluently, but usually communicated in Romany). As I realised that they wern't bothering I quickly decided that I should speak to her in SK as to encourage them to do so. So I spoke, sang, read, put films on and played with her all in SK. Fortunetly my plan worked and it started to catch on. My wife's mother started to speak to her in SK. Also soon after that we got SK tv channels as well. Our daughter was still getting her English through my family.
Age - 1.5 Years old
Me and my wife separated. I decided that I would use English with my daughter as it felt most natural to me. I only saw her two days a week so the majority of the time she was with her mother (who carried on using Romany) and grandmother (who carried on using Sk, including reading books to her.). They also kept watching Sk tv channels.
Age - 2 Years old
We are now back together and I have carried on speaking in English to our daughter. She understands everything I say and has a good vocabulary. This is also the case with her mother in Romany. My wife ensures my that our daughter also understands and can speak some Slovak, but I have my doubts (because her grandmother and uncle have been constantly using Sk with her.). We now live by ourselves and don't have SK tv channels, but obviously we will be visiting my wife's family regularly.
I am worried that our daughter will not have enough exposure to Sk for her to become an active bi-literate and tri-lingual as she grows up. I'm sure that there are some rules I can put in place for things to work out better. E.g. Speak Sk in the car (but our car journeys arn't that long), like one member mentioned that someone had done.
I am planning to check/test her whilst she is interacting with her grandmother to see exactly what her proficiency (obviously age appropriate) is in Sk.
Please could I have some ideas for rules I could use to ensure my daughter becomes bi-literate (English/Slovak) and tri-lingual (English/Slovak/Romany) as she grows up.
Sorry this is such a long post, but it's a subject which is very important to me. So I would appreciate any feedback.
Thanks in advance.
Jan (Pron. Yan) ▲ Collapse
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I greatly enjoyed reading Katalin Horvath McClure's detailed reply, and it matches my own ideas. We are trying to raise our child trilingual as well, so we speak our native languages with the child, Russian with each other, and almost everyone around (friends, colleagues) speak English. I'm pretty sure that this will give the child a good start in learning all three languages as native ones. For now he understands almost everything, especially when addressed in my native tongue. He's only under ... See more I greatly enjoyed reading Katalin Horvath McClure's detailed reply, and it matches my own ideas. We are trying to raise our child trilingual as well, so we speak our native languages with the child, Russian with each other, and almost everyone around (friends, colleagues) speak English. I'm pretty sure that this will give the child a good start in learning all three languages as native ones. For now he understands almost everything, especially when addressed in my native tongue. He's only under two, so we'll see the progress in a couple of months when he starts to speak more. ▲ Collapse
| | | | | Ideas to create the best language learning environment for my daughter. | Jan 22, 2010 |
Please could I get some replies to my earlier post.
Sorry I sound selfish but I'm sure that when I get some good methods in place then I'll be able to write some posts to help others from my experiences with my daughter.
Thanks,
Jan
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Sheelagh Roseno (X)
Ireland
German to English
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| also in The Netherlands | Mar 9, 2010 |
Hi, we have 4 kids here, I am Irish, my husband is German. From their first breath I spoke English to my children, my husband German and we speak either English or German at home. No Dutch except through the TV and friends. Amazingly enough all my kids (well the youngest is a baby) can speak fluent Dutch (also from school) and English - they understand German perfectly but my husband is away a lot so they are not exposed to it. You have to make up your mind how you plan to do it and stick to tha... See more Hi, we have 4 kids here, I am Irish, my husband is German. From their first breath I spoke English to my children, my husband German and we speak either English or German at home. No Dutch except through the TV and friends. Amazingly enough all my kids (well the youngest is a baby) can speak fluent Dutch (also from school) and English - they understand German perfectly but my husband is away a lot so they are not exposed to it. You have to make up your mind how you plan to do it and stick to that plan. We do not speak Dutch to the kids because it is not our native language and they would never learn it properly from us. When the time comes I will teach them to read English, my eldest is 7 and she can already make out a few words. She reads Dutch.
So my advice, be consistent, stick to your own language and don't let anyone deter you. ▲ Collapse
| | | | Sheelagh Roseno (X)
Ireland
German to English
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| How do I ensure our daughter grows up to be bi-literate and tri-lingual? | Mar 9, 2010 |
Jan,
you are like my husband who is freaked out that his (our) kids do not get enough exposure to languages - I speak English to them, he German and they speak Dutch among themselves - he reckons that they are not active in those languages only passive, but he is hardly ever here to hear them speak to me in English and for them to hear him speak German. Trust your wife and her family that they are doing a good job with the languages and that your child is getting the best exposure p... See more Jan,
you are like my husband who is freaked out that his (our) kids do not get enough exposure to languages - I speak English to them, he German and they speak Dutch among themselves - he reckons that they are not active in those languages only passive, but he is hardly ever here to hear them speak to me in English and for them to hear him speak German. Trust your wife and her family that they are doing a good job with the languages and that your child is getting the best exposure possible, and cut out the tests before they begin because they will only hinder your daughter's natural communication.
[Edited at 2010-03-09 21:37 GMT] ▲ Collapse
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....that your children get confused. A friend of mine in the West Country is an expert in multi-lingual matters. She has written books on the subject and runs her own company. She told me that the rule of thum is: each parent speaks their native tongue in the home and if you live in a third country, outside the house the child can learn the language of the country you are living in. Never speak any other language yourself. Children do not get confused. They might start speaking later than... See more ....that your children get confused. A friend of mine in the West Country is an expert in multi-lingual matters. She has written books on the subject and runs her own company. She told me that the rule of thum is: each parent speaks their native tongue in the home and if you live in a third country, outside the house the child can learn the language of the country you are living in. Never speak any other language yourself. Children do not get confused. They might start speaking later than one language children but they will learn. ▲ Collapse
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