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This year's craziest translation job request
Thread poster: LegalTranslatr2

Thayenga  Identity Verified
Germany
Local time: 20:58
Member (2009)
English to German
+ ...
WOW! Dec 14, 2011

One piece of advice, please arm yourselves with helmets because sooo many translators are fighting to get this job! We might also pay you in surprise tokens, e. g. a free cruise on the Titanic or a flight with the reknown airline "No-turn".

*****

On a more serious note, this email does resemble some of the (actual and serious) job offer emails I've seen or heard of before. The practice of cutting pay and making th
... See more
One piece of advice, please arm yourselves with helmets because sooo many translators are fighting to get this job! We might also pay you in surprise tokens, e. g. a free cruise on the Titanic or a flight with the reknown airline "No-turn".

*****

On a more serious note, this email does resemble some of the (actual and serious) job offer emails I've seen or heard of before. The practice of cutting pay and making the "side" workload such as registering, reading their platform instructions, etc. much larger than the actual translation job and the fact that they will get someone to work under such conditions is scary.

This S.F. synopsis would definitely make a great movie.

Thank you for posting this and making my day, Jeff.
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theda  Identity Verified
Vietnam
Local time: 01:58
German to French
+ ...
Love it! Dec 14, 2011

Was laughing out loud, this is so much like a mail you could receive from one of those huge agencies.
Thanks Jeff, made my day

Béatrice


 

hazmatgerman (X)
Local time: 20:58
English to German
Isn't that Dec 14, 2011

the age-honoured Vulcan spy test: any Non-Vulcan will take more than 3 seconds to call it a bluff. Vulcans do it in 1 sec.

OK, style guide for 63 single words! I love it. Thanks Mr. Whittaker for posting this marvellous piece of surrealism.

[Edited at 2011-12-14 16:17 GMT]


 

neilmac  Identity Verified
Spain
Local time: 20:58
Spanish to English
+ ...
Seen worse Dec 14, 2011

Samuel Murray wrote:

...is that much of it is not science fiction.



Yes, i find it a bit too close to the truth for comfort - I don't see it as much worse than real job offers I see posted from time to time.


 

inge van dri (X)
Local time: 20:58
German to Dutch
+ ...
Seen worse too Dec 14, 2011

You mentioned clearly all the things to be taken into account. But we see everyday e-mails where some of these requirements are omitted, such as: exact deadline, uncleaned Word text required, there is an instruction manual, please follow exactly client preferences we told to the other translators before, etc. The translator is (and feels) always guilty of forgetting one or more essential steps.

 

José Henrique Lamensdorf  Identity Verified
Brazil
Local time: 15:58
English to Portuguese
+ ...
In memoriam
The worst of all... Dec 14, 2011

... is that some agencies may actually copy and paste this ficticious ad, edit it as needed for their partucular job, and post it here on Proz.

The first ones to do it will be those that have a scanned PDF from a handwritten document in Gothic DE, want it translated, say, into EN, and their only absolutely essential requirement will be that the translators applying must have Trados, because (they think that) all the big agencies require it too, and they want to look big.


 

kchansen
Local time: 20:58
English to Danish
LMAO! Dec 14, 2011

So, did you accept the job?

 

B D Finch  Identity Verified
France
Local time: 20:58
Member (2006)
French to English
+ ...
An uncanny resemblance ... Dec 14, 2011

... to the approach of an agency I recently was foolish enough to do a job for.

 

Katherine Mérignac  Identity Verified
France
Local time: 20:58
Member (2004)
French to English
Is this for real??! Dec 14, 2011

Absolutely gobsmacked!

 

Dmitrie Highduke  Identity Verified
Ukraine
Local time: 21:58
Member (2008)
English to Ukrainian
+ ...
Is... Dec 14, 2011

Is the job still actual?

 

Tomás Cano Binder, BA, CT  Identity Verified
Spain
Local time: 20:58
Member (2005)
English to Spanish
+ ...
Jeff.... Dec 14, 2011

You are a genius. It is the most hilarious fake job proposal ever!
If you wrote it, I owe you a beer in Madrid with some tapas of a reasonable quality!
Cheers!


 

LegalTranslatr2  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 14:58
Portuguese to English
+ ...
TOPIC STARTER
This year's craziest translation job request Dec 14, 2011

Yes, I wrote it and I may just take you up on that beer and tapas. It was meant to be a companion piece to a post I wrote in 2008 (things have not changed all that much):

http://www.proz.com/forum/business_issues/97826-do_translators_need_sleep.html

"Dear Colleague,

“We are offering translators the rare opportunity to
... See more
Yes, I wrote it and I may just take you up on that beer and tapas. It was meant to be a companion piece to a post I wrote in 2008 (things have not changed all that much):

http://www.proz.com/forum/business_issues/97826-do_translators_need_sleep.html

"Dear Colleague,

“We are offering translators the rare opportunity to work with our agency. It is Friday afternoon and we have 2,567,000 words that must be translated in two days. Please do not bother to respond if you cannot meet this deadline (we need to have everything back by 3:00 pm this Sunday) of if you are not able to translate more than 20,000 words by this time. We know that this is a lot, but we could not say no to this great money-making opportunity for us and this great opportunity for some new translators to get some great experience. We need to roundup at least 115 more translators, so if you can type your name, you have the job. However, we do prefer translators who can offer good quality, are prompt and who offer discounts for large projects and for TRADOS repetitions. Because of the great volume of this job, we have very low budget and can pay no more than .03 a word, so please give us your very, very best, best-friends forever rate because we are a great company and we deserve it and please place the rate in the subject line (because of the rush schedule we do not have time to qualify anyone and only translators with the best rates will get the work). However, please note that even though you will be working for two days and nights without sleep on this highly-technical text, if our client finds that you have made even one small error, you will not be paid. The subject matter is very interesting and several of our translators have actually offered to do this job for us for free, but we understand if you need a little money to help defray the cost of electricity to operate your computer and coffee to stay awake. Translators are responsible for editing their own work – unfortunately, there is no money in the budget for us to do anything but pass your work on to the client. If only we could find a way to eliminate the need for silly translators from this process, our clients would be happy and we could make more money. However, once we piece together the work of over 100 high-quality translators like you working without sleep for less than 1/5 of the going rate, we are confident that our client will order more work from us in the future. Despite the rush nature of this project, translators will not be paid for 90 days.”

Tomás Cano Binder, CT wrote:

You are a genius. It is the most hilarious fake job proposal ever!
If you wrote it, I owe you a beer in Madrid with some tapas of a reasonable quality!
Cheers!


[Edited at 2011-12-14 22:17 GMT]
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Nicole Schnell  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 11:58
English to German
+ ...
In memoriam
Mr. Whittaker, how sloppy. Dec 14, 2011

Jeff Whittaker wrote:

"Dear Colleagues,

etc.



You forgot about the tax forms.

Tsk, tsk.


 

Rudolf Vedo  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 13:58
Member (2008)
Croatian to English
+ ...
Not just the tax forms.... Dec 15, 2011

Nicole Schnell wrote:

Jeff Whittaker wrote:

"Dear Colleagues,

etc.



You forgot about the tax forms.

Tsk, tsk.



What a glaring omission... And no mention of a photocopy of your passport either!


 

Nicole Schnell  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 11:58
English to German
+ ...
In memoriam
The references! What about the references!! Dec 15, 2011

Rudolf Vedo CT wrote:

Nicole Schnell wrote:

Jeff Whittaker wrote:

"Dear Colleagues,

etc.



You forgot about the tax forms.

Tsk, tsk.



What a glaring omission... And no mention of a photocopy of your passport either!








From three previous outsourcers.


 
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