Requesting feedback on my profile Thread poster: Elizabeth Joy Pitt de Morales
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Greetings fellow ProZians,
I've recently updated my profile. Besides tweaking the "About Me" section, I've removed some sample translations, added others and have done the same thing with the keywords.
I want to expand my client portfolio (targeting, in particular, clients outside of Spain) and I'd be grateful for any constructive criticism and suggestions for improvements that can help me with that goal.
Thanks,
Liz
| | | | Gerard de Noord 
France
Local time: 06:32
Member (2003)
English to Dutch
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| It's hard to find anything wrong | Sep 7, 2014 |
Dear Liz
I would:
Use the Standardized view by default; you've got nothing to hide.
Replace [download] with [download certifcate]. I clicked to learn more about the difference between proofreading and editing and was a bit disappointed.
Leave out "Am I the translator you are looking for?"
Put a dot behind "here: IOL".
Replace bold and underlined with bold; replace just bold with italic.
But the only reason why I write this is that your prof... See more Dear Liz
I would:
Use the Standardized view by default; you've got nothing to hide.
Replace [download] with [download certifcate]. I clicked to learn more about the difference between proofreading and editing and was a bit disappointed.
Leave out "Am I the translator you are looking for?"
Put a dot behind "here: IOL".
Replace bold and underlined with bold; replace just bold with italic.
But the only reason why I write this is that your profile is great as it is.
Even more subjective: I would use the text of Philosophy for the introduction of About me, and leave out the header. I also wouldn't use quotes around "go the extra mile", but I'm not a native speaker.
Cheers,
Gerard ▲ Collapse
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I would also leave out "Am I the translator you are looking for?" and replace it with an attention-grabbing introductory paragraph that highlights your main selling points. Your profile is long and detailed and I think there is a danger that a reader will miss the crucial points, e.g. that you hold the DipTrans and have over 8 years of experience.
Personally, I'd also try to make the whole thing shorter - that could just be my personal preference though so it will be interesting to... See more I would also leave out "Am I the translator you are looking for?" and replace it with an attention-grabbing introductory paragraph that highlights your main selling points. Your profile is long and detailed and I think there is a danger that a reader will miss the crucial points, e.g. that you hold the DipTrans and have over 8 years of experience.
Personally, I'd also try to make the whole thing shorter - that could just be my personal preference though so it will be interesting to see what others say.
I'd also change "PC's" to "PCs", but googling indicates that there is some debate about that point. ▲ Collapse
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is OK in the US (even the New York Times does it), but wrong in the UK.
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philgoddard wrote:
is OK in the US (even the New York Times does it), but wrong in the UK.
Thanks Phil, I didn't realise that was a UK/US thing. It's good to learn something new
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Thank you all for your helpful comments.
I've implemented most of your suggestions (I've inserted an overview in lieu of the snappy intro, which I find extremely challenging to write and will have to think about and work on for some time), and do think that they've made considerable improvements to my original text.
Still open to any further suggestions from my ProZ colleagues!
Once again, my appreciation to you all!
Happy Monday... See more Thank you all for your helpful comments.
I've implemented most of your suggestions (I've inserted an overview in lieu of the snappy intro, which I find extremely challenging to write and will have to think about and work on for some time), and do think that they've made considerable improvements to my original text.
Still open to any further suggestions from my ProZ colleagues!
Once again, my appreciation to you all!
Happy Monday!
[Edited at 2014-09-08 07:55 GMT] ▲ Collapse
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I just noticed you have "ielated" instead of "related" in the bit about contracts.
I hope I didn't sound too critical, I forgot to say that I think it is an impressive and well-written profile. Are your published translations available online? If so, I would put a link to them.
| | | | Sheila Wilson
Spain
Local time: 05:32
Member (2007)
English
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| Not much wrong, IMHO, just a bit wordy | Sep 8, 2014 |
I do think there's too much text about your qualifications. Sure, they need to be there, but there are rather too many words to read (and some are repetitions) before getting to the most important part: what you have actually done so could be expected to do for the reader.
In fact I think a general slight criticism is that the could do with some weeding. Remember that time is money and nobody will want to spend anything more than a few seconds on your profile. The content seems fin... See more I do think there's too much text about your qualifications. Sure, they need to be there, but there are rather too many words to read (and some are repetitions) before getting to the most important part: what you have actually done so could be expected to do for the reader.
In fact I think a general slight criticism is that the could do with some weeding. Remember that time is money and nobody will want to spend anything more than a few seconds on your profile. The content seems fine to me, but you're asking an awful lot of your reader.
I would personally remove the bit about teaching Spanish at university as I'm sure I'm not alone in thinking that an English native speaker would be better off teaching English. I'd also chop the technology bit - clients just expect you to have what it takes. Some agency clients like to know about CAT tools but they don't need to know anything more than their names. Even the experience section probably has too much detail - I don't know, but maybe there are things mentioned that aren't really an important part of your service offer. Just because they aren't mentioned doesn't mean that clients can't ask. I think your profile should just be a taster, not a comprehensive list.
HTH ▲ Collapse
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| Yes, that's me: wordy. | Sep 8, 2014 |
Sheila has honed in what I did suspect is a problem: just plain too many words. I am going pare it down this evening.
Thank you all for your constructive criticism. And, no, Rachel, you most certainly did not sound too critical...in fact, your comments -- and everyone else's -- have been delightfully diplomatic and have made me feel rather positive about something that is quite a bugaboo for me!
Thanks again!
[Edited at 2014-09-08 17:17 GMT]
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