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Feedback wanted about my (brand new) site
Thread poster: Florence Lesur

Paul Dixon  Identity Verified
Brazil
Local time: 06:16
Portuguese to English
+ ...
Suggestions Feb 12, 2010

I have just looked at your site (don't speak any Russian so can't say much there, and my French is very limited) but have some comments to make:

1. Use "my mission" or (better, in my opinion) "my commitment" rather than "my purpose".

2. Typo: "riguor" should be "rigour" - already mentioned here

3. Do not abbreviate your fields. So "corporate communication" instead of "corporate comm." - after all, this is just a guess, "comm." could also be "commerce", for
... See more
I have just looked at your site (don't speak any Russian so can't say much there, and my French is very limited) but have some comments to make:

1. Use "my mission" or (better, in my opinion) "my commitment" rather than "my purpose".

2. Typo: "riguor" should be "rigour" - already mentioned here

3. Do not abbreviate your fields. So "corporate communication" instead of "corporate comm." - after all, this is just a guess, "comm." could also be "commerce", for example. HR is obviously Human Resources, but I would still write it in full.

4. "Ask me" sounds a bit like an order - why not use "just ask me" for example?

5. I would use the Present Perfect rather than the Simple Past in the last item before the CAT tools, so "I have translated and (have) written several books..."

Hope this helps.

PAUL W. DIXON
Translator ENPT
São Paulo, Brazil
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Cedomir Pusica  Identity Verified
Serbia
Local time: 09:16
Member (2009)
English to Serbian
+ ...
Informative Feb 12, 2010

In my opinion it is informative and serves the purpose. Maybe a bit too girlish butterflyey for me but generally nice.

Wish you all the best!


 

Sarah Puchner  Identity Verified
Local time: 02:16
French to English
sounds good Feb 13, 2010

Florence Lesur wrote:


Does "languages and words in general, and translation in particular" feel much like a French structure, or awkward to an English native ear/eye? Or do you know any idea how to put it more fluently?



Florence, I think your wording sounds absolutely fine in English!


 

Florence Lesur  Identity Verified
France
Local time: 09:16
English to French
+ ...
TOPIC STARTER
Paul's suggestion Feb 13, 2010

Paul Dixon wrote:
1. Use "my mission" or (better, in my opinion) "my commitment" rather than "my purpose".


I was hesitating between "aim" and "mission", but "commitment" is just perfect. Exactly what I meant. Thanks a lot, Paul.

Florence


 

Florence Lesur  Identity Verified
France
Local time: 09:16
English to French
+ ...
TOPIC STARTER
Спасибо! Feb 13, 2010

Thanks a lot everyone who wrote to pinpoint the (many) mistakes on my Russian webpage. I very much appreciated that you were straightforward.

A kind soul wrote me privately to offer a proofed version of the page, so I might just use his text.

Actually, I was very eager - and happy - to offer a page in Russian for those clients who might be interested, to demonstrate I could actually communicate and work i
... See more
Thanks a lot everyone who wrote to pinpoint the (many) mistakes on my Russian webpage. I very much appreciated that you were straightforward.

A kind soul wrote me privately to offer a proofed version of the page, so I might just use his text.

Actually, I was very eager - and happy - to offer a page in Russian for those clients who might be interested, to demonstrate I could actually communicate and work in Russian. But, given that it won't take long for a client to find out that I am unconfortable communicating in Russian (though I've been working for some time now to improve that), I wonder if it was useful to design that page in the first place.

What do you think?

Florence
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Vladimir Shelukhin  Identity Verified
Local time: 10:16
English to Russian
+ ...
In memoriam
Not that vital Feb 13, 2010

Florence Lesur wrote:
But, given that it won't take long for a client to find out that I am unconfortable communicating in Russian (though I've been working for some time now to improve that), I wonder if it was useful to design that page in the first place.
You don't have to be Nabokov to perform as a perfect Russian to French specialized translator. Fluent Russian communication is a big advantage, but not that vital to survive. But what you do really need is a firm linguist's grip of the source essence, register and message.

[Edited at 2010-02-13 21:22 GMT]


 

Cedomir Pusica  Identity Verified
Serbia
Local time: 09:16
Member (2009)
English to Serbian
+ ...
Yes. Feb 19, 2010

Florence Lesur wrote:

I wonder if it was useful to design that page in the first place.

What do you think?

Florence


I don't see any reason why you should not have a page in Russian. Work on it, ask a colleague of yours to help you polish it and, bit by bit, you'll get there!

All the best!


 

Dmitrie Highduke  Identity Verified
Ukraine
Local time: 10:16
Member (2008)
English to Ukrainian
+ ...
In addition to what have been said Feb 21, 2010

Florence, in Russian you shouldn't put a space between a word and colon.

 

Florence Lesur  Identity Verified
France
Local time: 09:16
English to French
+ ...
TOPIC STARTER
My Site, take 2 Feb 25, 2010

Dear all,

After taking the time to ponder all your suggestions - thanks everyone for your input - I changed and adapted a couple of things in English... and a lot of things in Russian.

Anyone would mind having a look and let me know if I missed out anything?

For those of you who mind, I'll let you know if the site helped me get more clients.

Thanks a lot,

Florence


 

aradek  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 02:16
Hungarian to English
+ ...
Your field Feb 25, 2010

I think "Organization development" would be preferable to"Development organisations" in the English version.
Good luck!


 
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