Original poetry: 'The email of the species is more deadly than the mail'

Jack Doughty wrote:

An article in the "Sunday Telegraph" on this subject today ended with the words "We have barely begun to realise how much deadlier it is than the mail." This reminded me of a poem by Rudyard Kipling ("The Female of the Species is More Deadly Than the Male") and inspired me to write the following (with apologies to RK):


THE EMAIL OF THE SPECIES IS MORE DEADLY THAN THE MAIL

When you’re called upon to answer for alleged misdeeds in court,
You’ll find yourself discredited more quickly than you thought,
By an electronic message with an electronic trail,
For the email of the species is more deadly than the mail.

You think email is just gossip and will vanish without trace,
But it leaves a record of itself all over cyberspace.
You’d do better with a message by the mail now known as “snail”,
For the email of the species is more deadly than the mail.

If you open an attachment, it could well contain a worm,
Which will mess up your computer in a way to make you squirm.
If it comes from someone you don’t know, delete it without fail,
For the email of the species is more deadly than the mail.

If someone steals your credit card and uses it to get
Free access to a porn site somewhere on the Internet,
The police could come and raid you and you could end up in jail,
For the email of the species is more deadly than the mail.

You’d better pause to think awhile before you hit the “Send”.
It will take a little longer but it’s safer in the end.
To post a written letter’s really not beyond the pale,
For the email of the species is more deadly than the mail.

Katherine Zei wrote:
So many of Kipling's poems are suitable for updating. More! More!