| Pages in topic: < [1 2 3] > | How to have harmonious relationships when you work from home? Thread poster: NataliaAnne
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NataliaAnne 
Brazil
Local time: 06:36
Portuguese to English
TOPIC STARTER
You mean the **** off expression on my face isn’t enough?!? lol Sorry, not very productive.
I remember seeing a report on TV about a freelancer working from home who got up every day, did her make-up, put on business clothes, put on high heels, gave her baby to the nanny and then went into the office and closed the door. I was gobsmacked that anyone would bother getting dressed up to work at home, but she probably had an easier time making a work/home distinction in doing so. Not... See more You mean the **** off expression on my face isn’t enough?!? lol Sorry, not very productive.
I remember seeing a report on TV about a freelancer working from home who got up every day, did her make-up, put on business clothes, put on high heels, gave her baby to the nanny and then went into the office and closed the door. I was gobsmacked that anyone would bother getting dressed up to work at home, but she probably had an easier time making a work/home distinction in doing so. Not that I’m about to go to these lengths, mind you.
The lab coat made me think of my acupuncturist who is also a yoga teacher. Sometimes I see her running between the two jobs (which she does in two parts of the same building) and she always puts on a lab coat before acupuncture. Now I’m sure she does this for several reasons, including the fact that yoga clothes may not be seen by clients as appropriate for an acupuncturist, along with the Brazilian obsession with medical practitioners wearing white, but it’s always struck me that in simply putting on this coat, her whole demeanour changes and she steps into a different role.
This is all interesting food for thought. ▲ Collapse
| | | | NataliaAnne
Brazil
Local time: 06:36
Portuguese to English
TOPIC STARTER
Don’t worry about the name; no offence taken.
I think you’re right in that I need to adjust. The benefits of working at home far outweigh the disadvantages, so I really just want to make it as comfortable as possible for those who also live under the same roof.
| | | | | My two cents | Feb 22, 2013 |
Hm... Some measures I would definitely shoot for:
1. Get a kettle of cartridge coffee machine for your office space.
2. Get some rather big headset and listen to music from a CD in your machine, Youtube, or whatever, so that you can't hear anybody else's calls, telephone, or the doorbell ringing. Use the headphones while you are working, since this way people will associate that to work and will tend to leave you alone when you have your headphones on.
3. Reorient... See more Hm... Some measures I would definitely shoot for:
1. Get a kettle of cartridge coffee machine for your office space.
2. Get some rather big headset and listen to music from a CD in your machine, Youtube, or whatever, so that you can't hear anybody else's calls, telephone, or the doorbell ringing. Use the headphones while you are working, since this way people will associate that to work and will tend to leave you alone when you have your headphones on.
3. Reorient your desk so that your back is oriented to where the other people might come. You will not see them (or hear them, because of the headphones), and they will slowly get accustomed to the fact that you need to be left alone.
4. If someone interrupts you, show interest in the matter (even if oven trays are perhaps not a very interesting subject) but express that --sorry, sorry-- you urgently need to finish your work or you will never be able to rest. Tell them that you will retake the matter in the evening or at lunch. ▲ Collapse
| | | | Claire Cox
United Kingdom
Local time: 10:36
French to English
+ ...
| I sympathise | Feb 22, 2013 |
When I first started working in-house, the translators used to have their own office, but after the Information Services department changed building, some bright spark decided we could go in an open-plan office - absolute nightmare! It was impossible to concentrate with phones ringing and people chatting (usually not even about work-related things!). We eventually prevailed on the powers-that-be to provide a screen and finally got our own office back - huge relief all round!
I've wo... See more When I first started working in-house, the translators used to have their own office, but after the Information Services department changed building, some bright spark decided we could go in an open-plan office - absolute nightmare! It was impossible to concentrate with phones ringing and people chatting (usually not even about work-related things!). We eventually prevailed on the powers-that-be to provide a screen and finally got our own office back - huge relief all round!
I've worked at home for the past 24 years and brought up two children whilst doing so, so I suppose you become used to disruptions, but I do sympathise. I didn't used to translate when the boys were little and at home as it was impossible to focus, but gradually increased my hours as they progressed though the school system and became independent. Even with teenagers, you could guarantee you'd be on the phone to a client or trying to work out some complicated sentence and someone would shout (always from the opposite end of the house!) "Mum, where's my....?". I reverted to dictating with Dragon a few years ago and found that a useful signal that I was working and not to be interrupted if they could hear a constant stream of words issuing forth from my office. However, it is different when you're staying with other family members and people often don't appreciate what we do: viz. my former father-in-law who once asked me how my typing was going - grrrr!
As for friends coming to the door/phoning, it took me a long time to train people not to just turn up on the doorstep when I moved into the village or to phone for a chat in the middle of the day. You just have to persevere not answering the phone/door no matter what people think!
I must admit I regard being able to be in when tradesmen come as one of the perks of working from home; I'm trying to sort out a new bathroom at the moment and it's involved so many calls and quotes and trips to bathroom showrooms (none of which are open at the weekend), that I really don't know how I'd have done it if I worked in an office somewhere. OK, you might have to work in the evening to catch up, but at least then there are fewer interruptions.
Hope you manage to find a solution.
Claire
[Edited at 2013-02-22 15:30 GMT] ▲ Collapse
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Vincenzo Di Maso
Portugal
Local time: 10:36
Member (2009)
English to Italian
+ ...
| my experience | Feb 22, 2013 |
Hello Natalia,
thank you for sharing your experience. I sometimes live similar problems.
Right, I spend 2/3 of my time living in Portugal with my partner. We don't have babies yet so far, so we live on our own. She works all day and we manage to meet everyday at lunch, then she never manages to get out her office before 8 pm. This way I spend too many hours alone, and of course sometimes I feel loneliness and lack of interaction with people. Skype calls and social network are definit... See more Hello Natalia,
thank you for sharing your experience. I sometimes live similar problems.
Right, I spend 2/3 of my time living in Portugal with my partner. We don't have babies yet so far, so we live on our own. She works all day and we manage to meet everyday at lunch, then she never manages to get out her office before 8 pm. This way I spend too many hours alone, and of course sometimes I feel loneliness and lack of interaction with people. Skype calls and social network are definitely useful, but it's not like talking face-to-face with a person.
Then I spend the other 1/3 of the year with my laaaarge family in Southern Italy. We are fourteen living in a 5 flat building, so I constantly deal with parents, cousins, nephews, uncles, aunts and my old grandma. Interaction is great and we spend a wonderful time... outside working hours! Unfortunately I am interrupted too many times, as we did not actually set limits between families. Therefore sometimes concentration is hard, and my rhythm is slower.
At the end of the day, what a huge difference! When I switch to a country to another, it's like to move to another dimension. Positive and negative aspects of this life / profession! ▲ Collapse
| | | | Martina Fink
New Zealand
Local time: 21:36
German to English
Marie-Helene Dubois wrote:
As to family and kitchen trips, I'm wondering whether you could develop some kind of signal/code.. perhaps a red scarf and a green scarf, red for 'please don't interrupt my train of thought' and green for 'it's OK for me to have a break and a short chat'. Perhaps that would be difficult to implement in practice but it may avoid people feeling short-changed when you sometimes want to talk and you sometimes don't.
I agree that some kind of signal or code might be the way to go, along with explaining the situation to your family members. I can also relate to your situation - I'm usually home alone and can concentrate just fine, but recently my partner has also been at home and it's totally thrown me off. I don't have my own office either, which makes things a little more complicated. Sometimes I'm trying to concentrate and he asks me what I'm doing, which is almost as annoying as my favourite: "Are you working?" It hasn't been easy for him to grasp that I might be working even when I'm not typing!
Recently I started wearing headphones to block out some background noise and the bonus is that they also signal that I'm working and shouldn't be disturbed.
| | | | | I love distractions while working... | Feb 22, 2013 |
Especially, if these como from my own family.
I pay attention to them, try to give a fair solution to the "problem", pay attention again, listen a couple of minutes to what they have to say, I agree or not, stay one more minute to hear the end of the story, and finally say: "ok, I get to go back to work".
How long did this take? No more than five minutes.
I can give my family five minutes or more per hour each working day, no matter how big the work... See more Especially, if these como from my own family.
I pay attention to them, try to give a fair solution to the "problem", pay attention again, listen a couple of minutes to what they have to say, I agree or not, stay one more minute to hear the end of the story, and finally say: "ok, I get to go back to work".
How long did this take? No more than five minutes.
I can give my family five minutes or more per hour each working day, no matter how big the workload is. I can always manage it.
Let's not be so strict with ourselves. Get involved, even if it's only for a few minutes.
You'll love yourself!
▲ Collapse
| | | | | Distractions are necessary | Feb 22, 2013 |
Carvallo wrote:
I can give my family five minutes or more per hour each working day, no matter how big the workload is. I can always manage it.
That's true. In fact, distractions are necessary. How long can you stay productive without having a 5-minutes break? An hour or two, then you have to switch to some other activity. Why don't you play with your nephew, for example, during such breaks?
I have a 1,5-years daughter and have no dedicated office room in my house. And I am still able to work productively, because even in her age she understands when I'm working. And those 5-10 minutes per hour spent with my daughter give me a great push.
Of course, sometimes my wife or daughter distract me in the middle of thinking about some subject, but such situations are not uncommon in the life of every family (imaging yourself being distracted when you are on the phone with a friend or watching football game/soap...), and we all have to deal with them somehow.
[Відредаговано 2013-02-22 16:15 GMT]
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Kay Denney
France
Local time: 11:36
French to English
| For the littlun | Feb 22, 2013 |
He's not your child so there's no need to feel guilty. It sounds like he likes you though!
What I found works with kids is that you can say "sorry I can't play with you right now" provided you earmark a moment when you actually can play with him, that he can look forward to. And you keep your promise!
I think at least a kettle in your study is a must although I like breaks as a chance to stretch my legs and think of something other than the translation. Often I feel that comi... See more He's not your child so there's no need to feel guilty. It sounds like he likes you though!
What I found works with kids is that you can say "sorry I can't play with you right now" provided you earmark a moment when you actually can play with him, that he can look forward to. And you keep your promise!
I think at least a kettle in your study is a must although I like breaks as a chance to stretch my legs and think of something other than the translation. Often I feel that coming back to a translation, I can view it differently and suddenly it's obvious what the author is trying to say.
Maybe you should only venture out to the kitchen to fix lunch when you've finished your draft, or a chapter or whatever? My in-laws are Asian not Brazilian but I think they have the same attitude to families and living together (and women at home being at everyone's beck and call). I once got reproached for not making some tea for some people when I was working desperately to catch up on a huge translation after an emergency visit to the UK. At which point we had a serious discussion.
I agree that a serious discussion about priorities and contributions with all the adults in the household would be beneficial all round. If you start by acknowledging the good things about living all together, it can help them to accept that you can't do certain things.
It seems that there are several of your in-laws around, they should be able to organise themselves so there's someone at home to deal with the builders.
Personally, I don't mind being asked to check if there's milk in the fridge, that means someone's doing the shopping for me!
I do always answer the phone in case there's a problem with one of the kids, but that's because I'm a mother
Talking of which, I must say that learning to deal with plumbers and other mundane domestic issues while translating got a whole lot easier after becoming a mother, when life becomes a matter of "multi-task or die" (with a wink for Claire Cox and the "Mum where's my...?" - did you see the joke going round about "nothing's ever really lost until yo Mama says so"?) ▲ Collapse
| | | | | Being more picky about your "don't disturb" moments ? | Feb 22, 2013 |
I have the same kind of problems, especially since I am someone that needs to get up, walk around and think deeply as soon as I have some difficulty formulating a sentence. And it is probably the moment when I want the least to be disturbed. So, I don't know if it might help, but here's on little thought I had on the subject :
When you have very unusual work hours, with no regularity, it's normal for the people to be a bit disoriented when it comes to when it's ok to disturb you and... See more I have the same kind of problems, especially since I am someone that needs to get up, walk around and think deeply as soon as I have some difficulty formulating a sentence. And it is probably the moment when I want the least to be disturbed. So, I don't know if it might help, but here's on little thought I had on the subject :
When you have very unusual work hours, with no regularity, it's normal for the people to be a bit disoriented when it comes to when it's ok to disturb you and when it's not. So it's important to make it clear. And this means not only displaying the moments when you really don't wish to be disturbed, but also the moment when it's ok to come and say hello, or ask a question.
I noticed that with Skype contacts when I was working for a company : There are people that are normally on green, and every once in a while on red (don't disturb). Those are the people that get their "don't disturb" respected. On the other hand, there are people that always display the red icon, so that, after a while, this loses its meaning, and everybody just Skype them regardless of their status.
And it's kind of the same with my home office. At the time when I always had my door closed, it kind of lost its meaning, and people would just come in. Now I leave it wide open when I don't mind being disturbed, half closed when I work but it's ok to say hello or ask a question, and fully closed the door when I really don't wish to be disturbed. And I have the feeling my closed door gets more respect.
So I assume that if you're a bit more engaging and a little chatty the times when you don't mind, and reserve your "don't talk to me" mask for the moments when you really need silence, people might start to notice the difference, and respect it a bit more.
But again, I don't know if this is really helpful in your situation.
[Edited at 2013-02-22 16:21 GMT] ▲ Collapse
| | | | Phil Hand
China
Local time: 17:36
Chinese to English
| Personal style | Feb 22, 2013 |
People above have given quite a lot of good advice. But of course, what works for one person doesn't necessarily work for another.
From what you've said, you like to be concentrated and have no distractions. I'm much the same, and I have young kids. The only thing that works for me is a locked door. As for your trips to the kitchen - well, I think you have to accept that when you step away from your desk, you're fair game for a chat. I keep a pitcher of water with me in the office/... See more People above have given quite a lot of good advice. But of course, what works for one person doesn't necessarily work for another.
From what you've said, you like to be concentrated and have no distractions. I'm much the same, and I have young kids. The only thing that works for me is a locked door. As for your trips to the kitchen - well, I think you have to accept that when you step away from your desk, you're fair game for a chat. I keep a pitcher of water with me in the office/bedroom specifically so that I don't have to go to the kitchen when I'm trying to concentrate.
Whatever solutions you make up, make sure that they work for you, and try to explain them clearly to your family so that they actively support you. One of the reasons I have to lock my door, is that my wife doesn't get that she has to help out by stopping the kids coming in. If I lock the door, she gets it. There's no reason to what works for some people and what doesn't. It's all just about personal preferences. ▲ Collapse
| | | | NataliaAnne
Brazil
Local time: 06:36
Portuguese to English
TOPIC STARTER | Responses to the posts | Feb 22, 2013 |
Thank you everyone; this is exactly the type of discussion that I was hoping for, and has certainly brought up some great points.
Re: headsets
This is a very interesting idea and I can see how it works because people simply assume you can’t hear them and so probably only interrupt if it’s extremely important.
Re: showing interest when people interrupt
I think this is where I need to focus on improving. Unfortunately, I think I tend to jump straight to �... See more Thank you everyone; this is exactly the type of discussion that I was hoping for, and has certainly brought up some great points.
Re: headsets
This is a very interesting idea and I can see how it works because people simply assume you can’t hear them and so probably only interrupt if it’s extremely important.
Re: showing interest when people interrupt
I think this is where I need to focus on improving. Unfortunately, I think I tend to jump straight to ‘working – can’t talk now’ without necessarily showing interest in what the other person is saying and setting a clear time to come back and talk to them. I think this has to be my starting point. Carvallo (Anna?), I love your approach and was acutely aware of how distant it is from mine. I’m ashamed to say that I don’t have this same attitude of truly prioritising family over work.
Oleg’s comments were similar, seeing family as a welcome distraction. While I agree that I definitely need to take frequent, short breaks to stay productive, I like to be alone for these. I usually water my plants, sit on the veranda, stretch or something similar. I heard that the difference between an extravert and an introvert is that the first feels energised by people and the second feels drained. This is the case with me, i.e. that I feel drained by people, meaning that if I’m already worn out from work, the last thing I want is to have my energy levels further depleted by being around people. In contrast, I get my energy back by being alone. So it’s not that I don’t ever want to be distracted but that I don’t want to be distracted by people.
Re: Children
I think I need to make more effort to spend time with my nephew. He’s only here in the afternoons, so it’s rare for him to be in the house when I’m not working. Still, I’m sure I could figure something out.
Re: Lunch
The comments from Texte Style regarding lunch make sense (i.e. taking this break when between chapters etc). However, when I lived alone, I got into the habit of working in the kitchen and gradually cooking while I was working. For example, I’d stop work for 10 minutes and chop vegetables. After working a while longer, I’d stop again and put some rice on. You get the picture; I would break up the cooking process into chunks and intersperse them with work. I found this especially useful when working on something difficult, or when I was tired, because I could trick myself into thinking I wasn’t working. I.e. I’d say to myself, well, I may as well do just a couple of sentences while this onion is sautéing etc. By the time I’d cooked a meal, I’d also done a lot of work. This doesn’t work now, though, so I may need to take a longer break and cook and eat all in one go, rather than get expect to continue my old habits.
Re: Tradespeople etc
I totally agree that dealing with tradespeople and so on is simply impossible if you’re not at home. Deliveries are also an absolute nightmare in Brazil if you don’t have anyone at home. Funny, because I have no recollection of this being a problem in Australia. Here, they’ll tell you, for example, that it’ll be delivered in the next two weeks. There’s no specific day, no scheduled time, so you just have to be at home for two weeks and wait. Because of the fact that it’s simply impossible for most people, there are a lot of other family members, friends, neighbours, you name it, who also get deliveries to our house. But, to come back to my complaint about the bricklayer who came this morning, my gripe was that it was scheduled by someone else in the family for a time when I was up against a deadline. This calls for better communication!
Re: Irregular hours
Guillaume made a good point about irregular hours and how it’s hard for people to know when you’re working. Absolutely true, as is the need to make it clear when you’re working and when you’re not. I’ve also had plenty of experiences when people haven’t wanted to disturb me and I haven’t even been working, I’ve just been reading posts, articles or similar on the net. I think the comparison with Skype was really interesting as well.
Re: Ignoring the door/phone
I’m adamant about this and will stick with it (not being a mother).
Re: Closed office
Phil, I think you’re essentially right in that I’m fair game when I step out of the office. On a positive note, I need to really acknowledge that everyone fully respects it when I close my office door. The only person who comes in is my partner because our bedroom, my office, the veranda and where we keep clothes etc are all linked, but he is amazing and never disturbs me. Plus he works very long hours and so isn’t even at home that much.
@ Claire
The open-plan office and typing comments gave me a good laugh!
@ Vincenzo
Thank you for sharing your experience – I can definitely relate to both situations and their pros and cons. ▲ Collapse
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Samuel Murray
Netherlands
Local time: 11:36
Member (2006)
English to Afrikaans
+ ...
| Some thoughts | Feb 22, 2013 |
NataliaAnne wrote:
To start with, during the day I inevitably go to the kitchen numerous times.
Put on large headphones and listen to music while you're "at work" but not inside your office. I suspect people will be somewhat less likely to strike up a conversation with you if you clearly can't hear them, and they will be less likely to be offended if you don't respond while you've got the headphones on. Playing songs that you can hum the tune to might add to the effect of being "absent". This idea might work, but it might not.
If you can set aside definite tea times for yourself and put two or three large clocks on the walls near the kitchen or bathroom so that the house mates can see whether you are actually having a break or not, can also help. Sooner or later they will have to learn that once your tea time is up, you have to leave, even if they're in the middle of a very interesting story. Putting up your time table on the wall might also be an idea, so that you have a "valid" excuse to tell them "sorry, I can't chat now, look there, it's not my break time yet".
On a similar note, people often complain that I don’t answer the phone during the day. ... If I’m really busy, this can even extend to answering the door – I just don’t do it.
I sympathise with you, because I can understand why the house mates might think that it is the good mannered thing to do to answer the phone or the door when you're "at home".
Brazil, right? How far ahead do ordinary Brazilians normally plan their activities? Is "spur of the moment" measured in days, hours or minutes? (In Holland where I currently live, "spur of the moment" is measured in weeks, which is why I don't have a social life here, for as a South African I simply can't think that far into the future.) I think the main thing is that your family might think that you're unwilling to participate in their activities, when in fact you're not -- you're simply tied down to schedules, a fact that they generally can't get their heads around.
==
Oh, I just thought of another thing: would they be able to make the mental switch if you dress for work in a very formal way? This would mean that you can no longer work in informal clothes, but it might help them to see when you're there and when you're not really there. The type of dress I'm thinking of would be formal and office-like, e.g. something that a secretary or PA at a merchant bank would be dressed in. You can take off your high-heeled shoes in your office, but when you go to the kitchen or toilet, put them on. Seeing you in work clothes might also help the little one to distinguish between auntie at work and auntie at home.
[Edited at 2013-02-22 18:42 GMT]
| | | | | Meaning of "family" | Feb 22, 2013 |
NataliaAnne wrote:
I’m ashamed to say that I don’t have this same attitude of truly prioritising family over work.
I don't blame you. In-laws are not really family-family, right? In my case I work at home most evenings and with two young boys jumping all over the place, antagonising each other, showing me things, asking for things, proposing that we go play basketball for a moment together, etc. etc. temptation is big and I do fall many times. But they are my own flesh and blood!
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I can relate, I got married a year ago, and I'm trying to get used to working with my wife and getting distracted by our dog. I have the benefit that my wife has worked with me on a few projects and understands what I go through during a project, but, instead of finishing the other 12 (short) documents that I have to translate by Sunday, I'm going to be digging my car out from under all the snow we got yesterday so I can take her shopping.
I honestly agree that we need to choose ou... See more I can relate, I got married a year ago, and I'm trying to get used to working with my wife and getting distracted by our dog. I have the benefit that my wife has worked with me on a few projects and understands what I go through during a project, but, instead of finishing the other 12 (short) documents that I have to translate by Sunday, I'm going to be digging my car out from under all the snow we got yesterday so I can take her shopping.
I honestly agree that we need to choose our battles. Some times it is better to stop and talk and do what ever (like chipping ice off my car). I've found that my mind is clearer and more creative while doing that kind of labor, that's why I never gave up my carpentry work. When ever I'm stuck, I go sand something haha
And some times we need to lock the door... ▲ Collapse
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