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她来了,她弹了,她征服了
Thread poster: Zhoudan
Zhoudan
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Jun 13, 2011

刚才收到卓越网送来的CD,打开其中一张CD的说明书,看到这一句:她来了,她弹了,她征服了。我脑子里马上想到对应的英文是:She came, she played, she conquered. 对照英文说明,果然不错。学英语的对这个句型不陌生,都知道是套用:I came, I saw, I conquered。其出处wiki上有详细解释(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Veni,_vidi,_vici)。问题是,翻译成中文后,普通中文读者有多少人能产生这样的联想,从而产生预期的效果呢?

 
Li Jie
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她来了,她弹了,她征服了 Jun 13, 2011

如果原文就是 She came, she played, she conquered. 的话,我觉得做些增补可能会好些,比如:她来了,凭着弹...,征服了...

 
jyuan_us
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哈哈 Jun 13, 2011

Zhoudan wrote:

刚才收到卓越网送来的CD,打开其中一张CD的说明书,看到这一句:她来了,她弹了,她征服了。我脑子里马上想到对应的英文是:She came, she played, she conquered. 对照英文说明,果然不错。学英语的对这个句型不陌生,都知道是套用:I came, I saw, I conquered。其出处wiki上有详细解释(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Veni,_vidi,_vici)。问题是,翻译成中文后,普通中文读者有多少人能产生这样的联想,从而产生预期的效果呢?


你蒐集的都是語用學範疇的東東。既有趣味性又有可研討性。


 
ysun
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He came, he played, he conquered Jun 14, 2011

Zhoudan wrote:

刚才收到卓越网送来的CD,打开其中一张CD的说明书,看到这一句:她来了,她弹了,她征服了。我脑子里马上想到对应的英文是:She came, she played, she conquered. 对照英文说明,果然不错。

小周:

一看到你这一帖我脑子里马上想到的就是日本青年钢琴家辻井伸行 (Nobuyuki Tsujii) 征服美国观众的一幕。我曾在另一话题中提到过他:

Japanese Blind Pianist Rises to Fame
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cm6HIwEP0aE&feature=fvwrel

Nobuyuki Tsujii 辻井伸行 2009 Cliburn Competition FINAL RECITAL

Liszt Hungarian Rhapsody No 2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4XuEUWQCJSA

Chopin Berceuse, Op.57 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wqe_zeA8jIs

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nobuyuki_Tsujii
Nobuyuki Tsujii (born September 13, 1988) is a Japanese pianist and composer who shared the First Prize at the Thirteenth Van Cliburn International Piano Competition in 2009 in a tie with co-winner Haochen Zhang of China.

Nobuyuki Tsujii was born blind but was gifted with a talent for music. At the age of two, he began to play Jingle Bells on a toy piano after his mother had been humming the tune. He began his formal study of piano at the age of four.


我还曾在另一帖里提到过他:
http://www.proz.com/post/1739978#1739978
ysun wrote:

当看到 Nobuyuki Tsujii 表演结束,台下观众全体起立,全场响起经久不息的热烈掌声和欢呼声时,当 Nobuyuki 的母亲和钢琴老师一次又一次地分别扶他出来谢幕时,我就想,他获得这样的荣誉完全当之无愧。

任何人(赵本山除外)如果看到这一幕都会被深深感动的。不过,我估计你们若不“翻墙”就无法看到这令人深深感动的一幕。


 
Zhoudan
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翻墙看了 Jun 14, 2011

上月底换了一个速度快的,这才看到了。弹得是好。

ysun wrote:

不过,我估计你们若不“翻墙”就无法看到这令人深深感动的一幕。


 
Zhoudan
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有没有可能 Jun 14, 2011

找到中文的另一种句式,能让中国人一看就会心一笑的那种。

当然,增补也是一种选择。
Li Jie wrote:

如果原文就是 She came, she played, she conquered. 的话,我觉得做些增补可能会好些,比如:她来了,凭着弹...,征服了...


 
ysun
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应该译得灵活一些 Jun 14, 2011

Zhoudan wrote:

有没有可能
找到中文的另一种句式,能让中国人一看就会心一笑的那种。

我不擅长这方面的翻译,也不知该CD说明书详情。不过据你介绍,我觉得不一定非得刻板地套用原文格式。翻译应考虑到谁是预期的读者。研究或爱好外国文学、历史、军事、政治等的学者,其中许多人也许知道 "I came, I saw, I conquered” 这个国外典故。但一般观众、听众就不一定知道。阳春白雪,和者盖寡。因此,我认为不一定非得刻板地套用原文格式。译文只要能表达“她的精湛表演征服了观众”这层意思即可。如果想达到“能让中国人一看就会心一笑”的效果,就最好套用中国相近的典故或成语。那则 iphone 广告,就是因为过分拘泥于原文格式,故效果不佳。广告词完全可以译得灵活一些。

记得80年代初,中国放映过一部英国原版片 Carve Her Name with Pride。中文片名就不是直译,而是译为《女英烈传》。这就很好地体现了影片主题。如果直译,人们肯定会不知其所云。 同理,把Hamlet 译为《王子复仇记》肯定也比《哈姆雷特》要好。

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carve_Her_Name_with_Pride


[Edited at 2011-06-15 03:15 GMT]


 
ysun
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Young Brave and Beautiful Jun 15, 2011

女英烈 - Violette Szabó
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Violette_Szabo

The website created by Tania Szabó, Violette's daughter
http://www.violetteszabo.org/


 
wherestip
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Veni, vidi, vici Jun 15, 2011

ysun wrote:

但一般观众、听众就不一定知道。阳春白雪,和者盖寡。因此,我认为不一定非得刻板地套用原文格式。译文只要能表达“她的精湛表演征服了观众”这层意思即可。



I too would recommend the approach Yueyin suggested. Again this is a situation where without the proper background knowledge, the majority of the target audience may not be able to appreciate the origin of the sentence reference.


BTW, here's a couple of examples where the press uses some variations of this expression while reporting on current events ...

http://hubpages.com/hub/He-Arrived-He-Saw-He-Conquered

http://lettredeparis.com/2011/05/michelle-obama-she-came-she-dazzled-she-conquered/


 
ysun
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也谈 Veni, vidi, vici Jun 16, 2011

谢谢 Steve 提供的两个例子。其中,类似于 Veni, vidi, vici 的句型确实用得很恰当。同时,我们也可看到,那些作者也并非完全照搬。

Veni, vidi, vici 的主要特点是三个词都是由四个字母构成的双音节词。英语里称这种结构为 tricolon。
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tricolon
A tricolon (pl. tricola) is a sentence with three clearly defined parts (cola) of equal length, usually independent clauses and of increasing power.

Veni, vidi, vici
— (Julius Caesar)

"I came; I saw; I conquered."
However, the English is not a true tricolon, for its verbs are not all the same length, as is the case in the Latin.

如我上面所说,我认为不一定非得套用原文格式。不过,我们可以把这三部分都译为四个字,也许可以达到相近的效果。例如,“精彩表演,出神入化,征服观众”。当然,我并非英语科班出身,平时以科技翻译为主,不擅长于文学、广告方面的翻译。以上拙见权当是抛砖引玉吧!欢迎批评!


[Edited at 2011-06-16 04:45 GMT]


 
clearwater
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来了,弹了,服了 Jun 17, 2011

比较简洁,但唯一的缺憾是“服了”的是观众,而不是“她”。
当然,这里的服了取她使观众称服之意。


 
wherestip
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Veni, vidi, vici Jun 19, 2011

ysun wrote:

如我上面所说,我认为不一定非得套用原文格式。不过,我们可以把这三部分都译为四个字,也许可以达到相近的效果。例如,“精彩表演,出神入化,征服观众”。当然,我并非英语科班出身,平时以科技翻译为主,不擅长于文学、广告方面的翻译。以上拙见权当是抛砖引玉吧!欢迎批评!



同意 Yueyin 这种处理方法,我认为翻译不要局限于字面上的一一对应,而是要抓住原文的精神实质。

我这儿也出个馊的,是早晨边跑步, 边凑出来的 ...

她 凯旋到来,一显身手,举世留名。

It's a little flashy. But hey, so is the original.

Anyway, indeed it is tough to come up with something in Chinese that's catchy and rolls off the tongue.


 
Phil Hand
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让中国人一看就会心一笑的那种 Jun 19, 2011

肯定有,但肯定不是跟原文百分百一样。这个veni, vidi, vici暗示了凯撒做将军的厉害,那么你最自然想到的中国历史人物应该是诸葛亮,你针对诸葛亮的同样臭美的名言下点功夫:

以智克愚,顺也 --》 以吉他克民心,顺也

不知道这句名言对目标读者够不够熟悉,而且孔明给读者带来的连想跟凯撒带来的感觉不完全一样,但总算差不多吧!这种翻译难题应该�
... See more
肯定有,但肯定不是跟原文百分百一样。这个veni, vidi, vici暗示了凯撒做将军的厉害,那么你最自然想到的中国历史人物应该是诸葛亮,你针对诸葛亮的同样臭美的名言下点功夫:

以智克愚,顺也 --》 以吉他克民心,顺也

不知道这句名言对目标读者够不够熟悉,而且孔明给读者带来的连想跟凯撒带来的感觉不完全一样,但总算差不多吧!这种翻译难题应该是最伤脑筋的,正如 solange 同志说的:

For high profile films, the person who comes up with the title is probably paid more than the subtitler/dubbing translator of the entire film/book.
http://www.proz.com/forum/lighter_side_of_trans_interp/199315-film_titles_in_different_countries.html#1742491

翻译书名/电影名比翻译书更贵!

[Edited at 2011-06-19 17:59 GMT]
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wherestip
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Said in jest Jun 19, 2011

她 炫目登场,大显身手,一鸣惊人

她 迢迢千里亲临现场,大展演艺才华,众人无不为之倾倒

Better yet, ... 众人哗然,... 众人佩服得五体投地 ...

~*~*~*~*~*

I'm only joking. In reality, I detest the insincerity of bombastic words; it happens to be one of my pet peeves.

So, if it really were up to me, this would be my t
... See more
她 炫目登场,大显身手,一鸣惊人

她 迢迢千里亲临现场,大展演艺才华,众人无不为之倾倒

Better yet, ... 众人哗然,... 众人佩服得五体投地 ...

~*~*~*~*~*

I'm only joking. In reality, I detest the insincerity of bombastic words; it happens to be one of my pet peeves.

So, if it really were up to me, this would be my translation ...

她 亲临现场,大显身手,深受群众喜爱

Or for something that adheres even less to the original sentence structure ...

她的精湛表演博得了观众的好评/喝彩

Yueyin 的建议 “精彩表演,出神入化,征服观众” 我也很欣赏,如此翻译,不仅意思到家、易懂, 而且文字简朴、通顺。


[Edited at 2011-06-20 17:51 GMT]
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kenny2006woo (X)
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I came, I saw, I conqured. Jun 20, 2011

短短六字,霸气十足,要译成中文殊非易事。试译:朕御临此地,目之所见,皆为朕臣服。

自问与原文之气势相去甚远,权当抛砖引玉。



[Edited at 2011-06-20 03:23 GMT]


 
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她来了,她弹了,她征服了






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