Off topic: Urgent and Important -- DO NOT REPLY(funny replies to Major Company's recent bizzare "offer") Thread poster: Vadim Pogulyaev
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Vadim Pogulyaev 
Thailand
Local time: 23:31
Member (2007)
English to Russian
Many of us have received a ridiculous message from the Major Company (Let's name it this way to avoid banhammer... Proz and That Company are sweethearts now). I'll spare the details, most intresting part is:
Against the backdrop of this negative economic context, effective November 1, 2010 through January 1, 2011 we require all our partners to provide a 5% discount on all Major Company's projects. This discount is independent of any other agreements we may have in place with you.
This is ugly and offensive. However Major Company is well known for all things ugly, and offensive, so this move is kinda expected. Thus I find myself amused, rather than offended. After all this is a great opportunity to troll the basterds.
Please post your replies here. Mine is below. (Sorry for bad English, I was too inspired to choose words properly)
You may google another one in Traductor Financiero by Mr. Llorence.
Dear Didier
I must say, that I find your idea fresh, and inspiring. Really, I do. I have even decided to aply the same policy to local grocery store. You can find my draft preposition to them below.
First of all I'll tell them about my problems. There is no doubt, that these will be of utmost interest for them. Why wouldn't they?
- The weather has been lame lately
- I have recently aquired a cat, and forced to suffer its operating costs, which are quite high these days
- They have cancelled Caprica, my favorite TV Show. Can you believe that? I am sooo sad...
- The rash on my back is getting stronger, I need to do something about it
Given the above, I'll require the grocer to provide me 10% discount for the next two years (they have no choice indeed, because I am such an important client. I come there every day, and buy a baguette, a couple of croissants, and sometimes a pack of tea, and even a bottle of wine. Very important.) I'll also throw a remark, that I might become a habitual drunkard someday, and start buying wine every day to gild the pill.
When they accept my kindest offer, I'll approach to other shops and providers I am attending, starting from the energy company, and the ISP. What do you think of my plan?
Unfortunately negotiation with all those suppliers will leave me no time for Major Company's projects for the next two months.
Thank you so much for inspiration
Warmest regards
Vadim Poguliaev
[Edited at 2010-11-02 10:27 GMT]
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Brilliant! May I suggest you mark your post "Fasten your seatbelts folks"? I fell about laughing!
Sarah
| | | | Adam Łobatiuk
Poland
Local time: 18:31
Member (2009)
English to Polish
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| Silvia Barra (X)
Italy
Local time: 18:31
English to Italian
+ ...
| Did not answer | Nov 2, 2010 |
Great Vadim!
I received myself this e-mail after an application for a highly specialistic domain. I sent many applications for various projects but never worked for them.
I decided not to waste my time in answering that e-mail.
Silvia
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Vadim Pogulyaev
Thailand
Local time: 23:31
Member (2007)
English to Russian
TOPIC STARTER | Another thread | Nov 2, 2010 |
I noticed. After I posted this one.
However, this thread is supposed to be for replies only with little or no discussion. I think it would be fun to have them in one place:-D
| | | | Arianne Farah
Canada
Local time: 12:31
Member (2008)
English to French
| I just signed up :-) | Nov 2, 2010 |
I've never worked for them but I felt out of the loop on this one. I doubt they'd ever take me on with my rates but I'd love to see these e-mails go by... And who knows, if they turn off 60-75% of their freelance base they might be hard up in the future and willing to sing a different tune
Seriously. I signed up to the database. Today. Because I though... See more
| | | | Vadim Pogulyaev
Thailand
Local time: 23:31
Member (2007)
English to Russian
TOPIC STARTER
Hello Vadim,
Thanks for the entertaining message!
Best regards,
Didier
What can I say. LMAO. Unfortunately, irony is clearly outside MBA scope, so the guy didn't see nothing in the mirror.
[Edited at 2010-11-02 18:31 GMT]
| | | | Vadim Pogulyaev
Thailand
Local time: 23:31
Member (2007)
English to Russian
TOPIC STARTER
Hi Vadim,
Regarding the termination of cooperation – is this your final decision, even if the conditions remain unchanged?
Please let me know.
Thank you.
Regards
Vita
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Riadh Muslih (X)
Local time: 09:31
Arabic to English
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Vadim quoted the company writing " This discount is independent of any other agreements we may have in place with you."
I don't know the company, and I never received any e-mail from them. Having said that, if I'm not mistaken, they are imposing a discount that applies to new orders. This discount will not affect any existing (on-going) agreement, which I understood from another forum, they had signed with some translators. If anyone is covered by such an agreement, I think the d... See more Vadim quoted the company writing " This discount is independent of any other agreements we may have in place with you."
I don't know the company, and I never received any e-mail from them. Having said that, if I'm not mistaken, they are imposing a discount that applies to new orders. This discount will not affect any existing (on-going) agreement, which I understood from another forum, they had signed with some translators. If anyone is covered by such an agreement, I think the discount does not apply.
Don't you think this is what's meant by "independent of."
A word of advice: quote them afresh before you accept any new job between now and January, and demand an acknowledgement to your quotation or a PO.
Good luck ▲ Collapse
| | | | Vadim Pogulyaev
Thailand
Local time: 23:31
Member (2007)
English to Russian
TOPIC STARTER
Don't you think this is what's meant by "independent of."
It means, that discounts sum up. If your are a submissive slave masochist type, and accepted 5% discount already, it means the total discount of 10%.
[Edited at 2010-11-08 08:42 GMT]
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