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Fourth ProZ.com Translation Contest

Spanish to English


Finalists:27

Source text:

¿Qué les digo a los chicos? ¿Les diré que sean honestos y derechos, o que aprovechen cada ventaja de la vida? ¿Mística o pragmatismo? ¿Será equivocado inculcarles valores que el mundo parece despreciar?

¡Tanta infundada preocupación! Los hijos escuchan lo que les decimos, pero aprenden de lo que hacemos o dejamos de hacer. Cada pequeña acción, cada gesto, el tono de una respuesta, la inconsistencia entre dichos y hechos... nada escapa del atento escrutinio de esas personitas que la vida ha puesto a nuestro cargo.

Desconsiderados intrusos que demandan nuestro tiempo y atención hasta cuando no nos queda resto, escasos en años y en tamaño pero colmados de humana complejidad, los hijos invaden nuestra privacidad, desarticulan nuestros planes y desvían nuestra brújula hacia nuevos puntos cardinales.

Quisiéramos que estos repositorios inocentes de nuestros anhelos incumplidos sigan las sendas que hemos idealizado y que deseen lo que nos resulta más deseable, pero ellos tienen sus propios sueños y deseos, y deberán encontrar su propia senda.

Una y otra vez intentamos usar nuestra experiencia para protegerlos de los golpes, pero hay cosas que solo se aprenden tropezando, y los acertijos de la vida no tienen una única respuesta.

¡Maravillosos cachorros! Aprendemos de ellos, o con ellos, más que lo que enseñamos. En sus voces nuestras palabras adquieren una nueva perspectiva, y sus necesidades y desafíos nos hacen replantear ideas y sentimientos sedimentados tras años de rutina.

Nuestros hijos nos necesitan porque les señalamos el camino. Nosotros los necesitamos más aún, porque ellos son nuestra huella.


Entry #1423 - Points: 22 - WINNER!
Paul Lambert
What should I tell the kids? To be honest and straight down the line, or to seize every opportunity that life throws at them? Should I encourage them to be dreamers or pragmatists? Am I wrong to instil in them values which the world seems to scorn?

Or am I just worrying over nothing? Our children listen to what we tell them, but they learn from what we do, as well as from what we don't do. Every little action, every gesture, the tone of our replies, inconsistencies between our words and our Show full text

patyjs
Good job! I particularly liked the way you handled the third paragraph.
Nicholas Ferreira
Congratulations, Paul. Excellent job and well-deserved victory!
jack_speak
Congratulations.
Margaret Schroeder
I especially liked "dreamers" for "mística", "manifestations" for "repositorios" and "dreamed of" for "idealizado". Also particularly good: "or am I just worrying over nothing", "eager eyes", "invade our private time" "play havoc with our plans" and "shield".
eesegura
Congratulations!
Carolingua
I especially liked the juxtaposition of "dreamers" with "pragmatists". Congratulations!
Entry #1937 - Points: 15
Margaret Schroeder
What should I teach my children? Should I tell them to be honest and upright, or should I teach them to look out for number one? Idealist or pragmatic? Is it a mistake to imbue them with values that the real world seems not to appreciate?

But why ask these questions at all? Our children might listen to what we say but they learn from what we do or fail to do. They are aware of every small gesture and act; our tone of voice; any inconsistency between word and deed. Nothing escapes the Show full text

Margaret Schroeder
Woo-hoo! Second place! Thanks to all who voted! After having seen the other translations, I thought there was much, much room for improvement in my version.
eesegura
Congratulations!
Katarina Peters
Well done, and you're much too modest!
Carolingua
I especially liked "calcified". Also "imprint". Great job!
Entry #1387 - Points: 14
Daniel Burns
What am I to say to the kids? Shall I tell them to be upright and honest, or to take every advantage that life offers? To be spiritualistic or pragmatic? Will it be a mistake to instill in them values that the world seems to scorn?

Such groundless worries! Children listen to what we say to them but they learn from what we do or fail to do. Every little act, every gesture, the tone of a response, inconsistency between words and deeds...nothing escapes the attentive scrutiny of these little Show full text

Margaret Schroeder
I especially liked "fail to do", "words and deeds", "shield them from hurt", "time and again" and "imprint of our passage".
Carolingua
I thought you struck a good tone with "marvelous creatures"; this was an especially challenging part of the translation, I thought. I also liked "shield them from hurt". Great job; third place is really good given all the competition!
Entry #1513 - Points: 13
Nicholas Ferreira
Micaela Brand
What should I tell my kids? Should I tell them to be honest and upright, or to seize every opportunity life offers? Idealism or pragmatism? Would it be a mistake to instill in them values that the world seems to reject?

So much needless worry! After all, children hear what we say to them, but learn from what we do or don’t do. Each tiny action, every gesture, the tone of our answers, the inconsistency between what we say and what we do... nothing escapes the notice of these little creatures Show full text

Margaret Schroeder
Yours was my choice for 2nd place! I especially liked "the notice" for "atento escrutinio", "cradles" for "repositorios", "envisioned" for "idealizado", "shield them" for "protegerlos" and "show us where we've been" at the end.
Nicholas Ferreira
Thank you, GoodWords. You have my excellent translation mentoree, Micaela, to thank for all of these. She did a wonderful job and is progressing very well as a professional language expert. It was an honour to work with her on this.
Carolingua
"tykes" was very clever. Very good work!
Entry #2329 - Points: 10
Anonymous
What shall I tell the kids? Shall I tell them that they ought to be honest and upstanding or that they ought to take advantage of every opportunity life puts their way? Should they be spiritual or pragmatic? Will it be a mistake to instill in them values that the world appears to disparage?

Such a baseless fear! Children listen to what we say, but learn from what we do or fail to do. Each little action, each gesture, the tone of a response, the inconsistency between words and deeds…nothing Show full text

Margaret Schroeder
I liked "fail to do", "words and deeds", "off course towards new horizons", "shield them", and "long buried".
Entry #1928 - Points: 8
tazdog (X)
What do I tell the kids? Do I tell them to be honest and upright, or to seize every advantage in life?  Mysticism or pragmatism? Would it be wrong to instill in them values that the world seems to despise?

So much groundless worry! Children listen to what we say, but they learn from what we do or fail to do. Every little action, every gesture, the tone of a response, any inconsistency between words and deeds…nothing escapes the keen scrutiny of these miniature people who life has Show full text

Margaret Schroeder
I like "fail to do", "words and deeds", "young in age and short in stature", "ceaselessly", "limp and worn out", "upset our plans", and "veering off".
tazdog (X)
Thanks, GoodWords, I appreciate the feedback.
Entry #1519 - Points: 6
Rowan Morrell
What do I tell the kids? Shall I tell them to be honest and upright, or that they should take advantage of every opportunity in life? Should I take a spiritual or pragmatic approach? Would it be wrong to instil values into them that the world seems to despise?

Such fears are entirely groundless. Children listen to what we tell them, but learn from what we do or permit. Every little act, every gesture, the tone of a reply, the inconsistency between the things we say and the things we do - nothing Show full text

Margaret Schroeder
I especially liked "totally alter our perspectives", "we feel are best" for "idealizado", and "the hard way" for "tropezando". Also "life's mysteries" and "deeply ingrained in us for years". I believe, unfortunately, that "sometimes" doesn't convey the meaning of "una y otra vez" and "permit" doesn't capture what the original was saying with "dejar de hacer". This translation was my choice for 3rd best.
Rowan Morrell
Thank you very much for such detailed feedback, GoodWords. Looking at other entries, I would have been better to translate "una y otra vez" as "time and time again" or "over and over again", or perhaps even "constantly". As for "dejar de hacer" - well, it looks like I just plain stuffed that up. I should have said "what we don't do" or "what we fail to do". I obviously got completely the wrong sense of "dejar" there. It was "dejar DE", not just "dejar", and that made all the difference. But your feedback has helped to see more clearly where I went wrong.

Although Spanish-English is a working pair of mine, I don't have nearly as much experience with it as I do with French-English (which I won!) or German-English (where I placed 3rd but still picked up a lot of points). Maybe that was a factor in things like my "dejar" boo-boo. But I've learned from it anyway, so that's got to be good. Once again, I thank you for your feedback and for being so specific about the good and bad points of the translation. I really do appreciate it.
Entry #1738 - Points: 5
eesegura
What do I say to my kids? Do I tell them to be honest and upright, or that they should make the most of every advantage in life? Do I employ mysticism or pragmatism? Might it be a mistake to instill in them those values that the world seems to despise?

What a lot of groundless worry! Children listen to what we tell them, but they learn from what we do or don’t do. Every little act, every gesture, tone of reply, inconsistency between words and deeds…nothing escapes the watchful scrutiny Show full text

Margaret Schroeder
I like "words and deeds", "filled to the brim", "time and again", "firmly entrenched" and "they are our legacy".
eesegura
Thank you, GoodWords. I really appreciate the time you've taken to provide very helpful feedback (not only with my entry, but with all of the finalists). Congratulations on a well-deserved second place!
Entry #2183 - Points: 5
Kathleen Shelly
What should I tell my little ones?  Should I teach them to be honest and forthright, o rather to take advantage of everything life has to offer?  The spiritual or the pragmatic?  Is it be wrong to instill in them values the world seems to despise?

All groundless worry!  Children do listen to what we say, but they learn from what we do or don’t do.  Every small act, each gesture, the tone of an answer, a lack of consistency between word and Show full text

Margaret Schroeder
I liked "word and deed", "drain our time and attention to the dregs", "trial and error" and "they are our legacy". In the second-last paragraph, "oh" should be "o".
Kathleen Shelly
This was so much fun! Thanks so much for the feedback, especially from Daniel. I have learned so much from this, and the most important is not to be too hasty. I think another few revisions would have made a difference.
Entry #1522 - Points: 3
Daniel Greuel
What do I say to my kids?  Do I tell them to be honest and upright, or to exploit every advantage life gives them?  Do I teach spirituality or pragmatism?  Would it be a mistake to instill in them values that the world seems to depreciate?

What needless worrying!  Our children listen to what we say, but they learn from what we do and don’t do.  Every little action, every gesture, the tone of a response, inconsistency between our words and Show full text

Margaret Schroeder
I liked "words and deeds", "life has committed to our care", "few in years and slight in size" and "time and again".
Entry #2018 - Points: 3
Fiona Gilbert Riley
What shall I tell the kids? Shall I tell them to be honest and upstanding, or to snap up every opportunity in life? The mystic approach or the pragmatic one? Will it be a mistake to fill them with values that the world seems to be casting aside?

What a lot of wasted worry! Our children listen to what we tell them, but they learn from what we do or what we don't do. Every tiny act, every gesture, the tone of a reply, the lack of consistency between what we say and what we do ... nothing escapes Show full text

patyjs
I really liked this. Good job!
Margaret Schroeder
I liked "hawk-like scrutiny", "tear our plans to shreds", and especially "what we leave behind".
Entry #2126 - Points: 3
Anonymous

What do I say to my kids? Should I tell them to be honest and fair, or to seize every advantage in life? Mystic or pragmatic? Would it be wrong to instill values in them that the world seems to scorn?

Such needless worrying! Children listen to what we tell them, but learn from what we do or fail to do. Every little action, every gesture, tone of voice, inconsistency between what we say and do...nothing escapes the attentive scrutiny of these little people that life has placed in our care.

They Show full text

Margaret Schroeder
I liked "fail to do" and "the hard way".
Entry #2299 - Points: 3
erowe
What do I say to the children? Shall I tell them that they must be honest and upright, or that they should grab every opportunity that life affords? High ideals or pragmatism? Would it be wrong to instil in them values that the world seemingly despises?

So many groundless fears! Children listen to what we tell them, but learn from what we do, or do not do. Every little act, every gesture, the tone in which we answer, any inconsistency between what we say and what we do...nothing escapes the Show full text

Margaret Schroeder
I liked "life affords", "high ideals" for "mysticism", "heading in new directions" and "entrenched in years of routine".
Entry #1433 - Points: 2
Paul Hirsh
What should I say to the kids? Should I tell them to be honest and upright, or to take advantage of everything life has to offer? To be mystics or opportunists? Is it a mistake to inculcate values which the world seems not to esteem?

What a lot of worry about nothing!

Children listen to what we say, but learn from what we do or omit to do. The smallest act or gesture, the tone of a reply, words and deeds at variance, nothing escapes the eagle eyes of these small people whom life has Show full text

Margaret Schroeder
I particularly liked "opportunists", "eagle eyes", "point our lives in untried directions", and "they are what we will leave behind".
Rowan Morrell
I going to play the "bad cop" to GoodWords' "good cop" and mention something I particularly disliked - namely, "wonderful brats". This struck a rather too negative note and for me, it spoilt what was otherwise a quite decent entry.
Entry #1480 - Points: 2
Kevin Kaland
What to tell children? Should I tell them to be honest and upright, or to take advantage of every opportunity in life? Mysticism or pragmatism? Will it be a mistake to instill in them values that the world seems to scorn?

So much unfounded worry! Children listen to what we tell them, but they learn from what we do or refrain from doing. Every small action, every expression, the tone of a response, the inconsistency between words and facts... nothing escapes the attentive scrutiny of those Show full text

Margaret Schroeder
I liked "mess up our plans" and "all new directions".
Entry #1507 - Points: 2
Anonymous
What do I say to the kids? Should I tell them to be honest and upstanding, or to exploit every advantage in life? Mysticism or pragmatism? Would it be wrong to instill values in them that the world seems to disdain?

So much unfounded worry! Children listen to what we tell them, but they learn from what we do or leave undone. Every little action, every gesture, the tone of a reply, inconsistencies between words and deeds… nothing escapes the intense scrutiny of these small people that life Show full text

Margaret Schroeder
I liked "exploit every advantage in life", "leave undone" and "words and deeds".
Entry #1633 - Points: 2
Anonymous
What should I tell our children?  That they be honest and straight, or that they take advantage of everything life has to offer? Mysticism or pragmatism? Would it be wrong to indoctrinate them with values the world seems to despise?

All that worrying for nothing! The children listen to what we say, but they learn from what we do or don’t do.  Each small deed, each gesture, the tone of an answer, the inconsistency between what is said and what is done… nothing escapes Show full text

Margaret Schroeder
I liked "All that worrying for nothing!" Unfortunately I think "once in a while" doesn't capture the meaning of "una y otra vez" and where you wrote "sewing", I think "sowing" was meant. The whole seed metaphor was a nice idea.
Katarina Peters
Thank you for your good words, GoodWords! But I admit I wasn't at my best, and the "sewing" was a typo...of course I meant sowing.
Entry #1736 - Points: 2
Anonymous
What shall I tell the kids? Shall I tell them to be honest and righteous, or to make the most of each of life's advantages? Mysticism or pragmatism? Could it be wrong to instill in them values that the world seems to spurn?

So much unwarranted concern! Children listen to what we tell them, but learn from what we do or leave undone. Each little action, each gesture, the tone of a response, the inconsistency between what we say and what we do... nothing escapes the watchful scrutiny of these Show full text

Margaret Schroeder
I like "entrusted to us", "down to our last breath", and "trace we leave behind".
Entry #2203 - Points: 2
Carolingua
What should I tell the children? Shall I tell them to be honest and real or to take advantage of every opportunity in life? Idealism or pragmatism?  Would it be mistaken to instill in them values that the world seems to disdain?

So much needless worry!  Children listen to what we say to them, but learn from what we do or fail to do.  Each small action, each gesture, the tone of an answer, the inconsistency between words and deeds… nothing escapes the attentive Show full text

Margaret Schroeder
I liked "fail to do", "words and deeds", "foil our plans", "take on a new life" and "buried under years of routine".
Carolingua
Thanks for the feedback and encouragement! I realized too late my mistake with "honest and real"; "real" is not correct and I was quite upset by this obvious and careless mistake. I meant to change it and just put it there as a placeholder while I thought about the right word, and then forgot. It should have been "upright" or "righteous", to stay true to the original text. Also, I am wondering why no-ne else used "footprint" for "huella". Any thoughts? I welcome constructive criticism; this is such a wonderful learning opportunity!
Margaret Schroeder
Here's a tip that others might find useful in the future when you leave a placeholder, or even a tentative word that you want to review and see whether you can later improve it. My suggestion is to colour it (in Word, either with the highlighter function or a brightly-coloured font). Then you will notice it and not forget about it.

Quite a number of contestants did use "footprint", but my personal opinion I was that "footprint" didn't work as well in English. Somehow it doesn't give the same tone or connotation that "huella" does in Spanish. I liked a number of other solutions better than those that used "footprint".
Carolingua
Thanks for the tip! I see what you mean about "footprint". It seems like a literal translation, while the intent of "huella" was of course figurative (in the sense of leaving one's mark on the world). The word "footprint" has resurfaced in modern times with its widespread use in terms such as "digital footprint" (to mean the space or area covered by a network) or "ecological footprint" (to mean the environmental impact of something), though I guess these may be strictly technical usages (I work in technology, so this may be why it stuck to my mind!). It was fun to do a more literary translation for a change, though it is very subtle and challenging work, kudoz to everyone who tackled it! I tried to stay conscious of keeping the "tone" of the original, which I perceived to be "dramatic" and lyrical; this was a new dimension for me and I know I have much to learn. Thanks again for the friendly feedback.
Entry #1574 - Points: 1
jack_speak
What am I supposed to tell the kids?  Do I tell them to be honest and righteous, or to take advantage of every opportunity in life?  Spirituality or practicality?  Would it be wrong to instill upon them values that the world seems to scorn?

What nonsense!  Kids hear what we say, but they learn from what we do and don’t do.  Every move we make, every gesture, the tone of our voice, inconsistencies between what we say and what we do... nothing Show full text

patyjs
I liked this entry a lot and I'm surprised it didn't get more support. "...derail your plans.." was a particularly good choice of vocabulary.
Well done, Jack.
jack_speak
Thanks very much, Patyjs. I appreciate the comment!
Margaret Schroeder
I really liked "bearers" for "repositorios", "envision" for "idealizado", "the hard way" for "tropezando", "shield them" for "protegerlos", and also "derail our plans", "unfulfilled dreams", "breathe new life" and "for us, they are the way". Unfortunately, I thought your rephrasing of the 3rd paragraph missed out on any sense of "desconsiderados intrusos" and that "every now and then" doesn't capture the meaning of "una y otra vez". Except for those caveats, this was among the best.
jack_speak
Thank s Goodwords - I especially appreciate the feedback on the shortcomings of the translation. I disagree on "every now and then" - small potatoes - but I agree that I took a big, albeit calculated, risk on "desconsiderados intrusos," but I thought that "inconsiderate" or "thoughtless intruders" sounded mean-spirited toward small children. I figure if it's a technical or legal text, the translation must be more literal, but if it's more of a philosophical text, as in this case, we can take more liberties, as long as we maintain the spirit, tone, and overall meaning. But, as I say, I knew I was taking a big risk, and I truly appreciate your honesty in confirming what held me back in the pack! Thanks!
Entry #2158 - Points: 1
Reed James
What should I tell my kids? To be honest and upstanding citizens? Or to seize every one of life's advantages? Should I preach mysticism or pragmatism? Is it wrong to instill values in them everyone else seems to look down on?

All this fretting based on sheer speculation! Though kids listen to what we tell them, they learn either from what we do or stop doing. Every little action, every gesture, the underlying tone of an answer, the inconsistency between what we say and do...nothing escapes Show full text

Margaret Schroeder
I liked "preach", "fretting", "bubbling over" and "pat answer".
Entry #1498 - Points: 0
Karen Friedman
What should I tell the children?  To be honest and upright or to wring profit from every advantage life offers?  To be mystical or pragmatic? Would it be wrong to inculcate them with values the rest of the world seems to despise?

So much needless worry!  Children listen to what we say but learn from what we do --or don’t do.  The smallest action, every gesture, the tone of an answer, the inconsistencies between our words and deeds…nothing escapes Show full text

Margaret Schroeder
I liked "so much needless worry", "words and deeds", time and again" and "shield them from blows".
Entry #1616 - Points: 0
Marian Vieyra
What do I tell the children?  Do I tell them to be honest and upright, or to take advantage of everything life has to offer?  Choose positivism over pragmatism?  Would it be wrong to give them values the world seems to look down on?

What's the point of worrying?  Children listen to what we tell them, but learn from what we do or don't do.  Every little action, every gesture, the tone of voice used when answering a question, any inconsistency Show full text

Patricia Rosas
I thought that this was one of the better translations, but positivism is not the same as mística (mysticism/metaphysics) -- in fact, it's almost its opposite.
Margaret Schroeder
I liked "wrong to give them", "life has entrusted us with", "derail our plans", "envisaged", "gone stale over the years" and "record of our existence".
Entry #1667 - Points: 0
Anonymous
What should I tell my children? Should I tell them to be honest and upright, or to take advantage of each of life’s opportunities?  To be mystics or pragmatists? Would it be a mistake to inculcate values that the world seems to despise?

What needless worry! Our children listen to what we tell them, but they learn from what we do, or fail to do. Every little action, every gesture, the tone of a reply, the inconsistency between what we say and what we do…nothing escapes the scrutinizing Show full text

Margaret Schroeder
I like "time and again", "life's big questions" and "collected dust".
Rowan Morrell
I'm going to play the "bad cop" and mention something I didn't like: "intrusions" was a bit of a clanger. It should have been "intruders", "invaders" or something along those lines. This mistake may have been a factor in your lack of votes. "Moppets" didn't really strike a particularly good note either. Otherwise though, this translation actually wasn't too bad.
Entry #1784 - Points: 0
Anonymous


What do I say to the children? Shall I tell them to be honest and upright, or to seize every opportunity in life? Mysticism or pragmatism? Would it be wrong to inculcate them with values that everybody seems to despise?


No need to worry on that score! Children hear what we say, but learn from what we do or don’t do. Every little action, every look, the tone of an answer, the discrepancy between words and deeds... nothing escapes the watchful scrutiny of these little people whom Show full text

Margaret Schroeder
I like "No need to worry on that score!", "young in years and small in stature", "throw our lives into total disarray", "the hard way", "life's problems", and "entrenched".
Entry #2029 - Points: 0
Anonymous
What should I tell young people?  Should I tell them to be honest and upright or to take advantage of every one of life's opportunities?  Idealism or pragmatism?  Would it be wrong to instil in them values that the world seems to scorn?

So much needless worry!  Children listen to what we tell them but they learn from what we do or do not do.  Every little action, gesture, the tone of a response, the inconsistency between words and actions... Show full text

Margaret Schroeder
I liked "idealism" for "mística, and "time and again", "the hard way" and "life's mysteries".
Entry #2117 - Points: 0
Anonymous
What should I say to the kids?  Should I tell them to be honest and straight forward, or to grab hold of every advantage in life?  Mysticism or pragmatism?  Would it be wrong to instill in them values that the world seems to look down upon?

So much unfounded worry!  Kids hear what we tell them, but learn from what we do or don’t do.  Every little action, every gesture, the tone of a response, the inconsistency between words and actions…nothing Show full text

Margaret Schroeder
I liked "grab hold of every advantage in life", "shatter our plans" and "recast ideas".
Feedback - Fourth ProZ.com Translation Contest
This space is provided for feedback and suggestions about the contest in this particular language pair.
As we have already planned, this feature is now open to all members (full, community and student members).
Henar Chico (X)
Wow, congrats to the winner. I entered the contest even though my native tongue is Spanish, and well, I did not qualify. Seeing the winner's translation I can see that I still have a lot to work on. I loved it. Good job!
Susie Miles
Sincere congratulations to the winners! Very, very enjoyable to read the versions in English of this text which was so nicely approached originally in Spanish, but also incredibly translated into English!
I entered the contest even though my native tongue is Spanish (and was also promptly disqualified)…
Reading these translations I can appreciate what a rich language English is, when you have all that fluency and creative vocabulary, and I also realize that, as Henar says, I still have a lot to work on…
jack_speak
I remember from the forum that several people who were disqualified were interested in knowing why. If anyone wants to email me I will tell you whether or not I voted against yours, and if so, why. I understand the desire to know. Best to all!!
Katarina Peters
I concur in congratulating the winners, and I especially praise GoodWords for taking the time in pointing out the best in each and every work instead of stressing the negative...
Susie Miles
I want to make a special comment of gratitude to Jack_Speak for his generosity to take the time to analyze and give me his feedback (corrections, suggestions, comments) on my Sp into En translation (which was disqualified)…
As I told him, his thoughts were and are very useful, and I am learning a lot since I am a member of this interesting and enjoyable ProZ community. Every time I learn more...
Thanks again, Jack!



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