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Third ProZ.com Translation Contest

Russian to English


Finalists:7

Source text:

В одном густом тропическом лесу жил да был очень забавный зверек. Звали его Чебурашка. Вернее, сначала его никак не звали, пока он жил в своем тропическом лесу. А назвали его Чебурашкой потом, когда он из леса уехал и встретился с людьми. Ведь это же люди дают зверям имена. Это они сказали слону, что он слон, жирафу – что он жираф, а зайцу – что он заяц. Но слон, если бы подумал, мог бы догадаться, что он слон. Ведь у него же очень простое имя. А каково зверю с таким сложным именем, как гиппопотам. Поди догадайся, что ты не ги-потам, не по-потам, а именно гип-по-по-там.

Так вот и наш зверек: он никогда не задумывался над тем, как его зовут, а просто жил себе да жил в далеком тропическом лесу. Однажды он проснулся утром рано, заложил лапы за спину и отправился немного погулять и подышать свежим воздухом. Гулял он себе, гулял и вдруг около большого фруктового сада увидел несколько ящиков с апельсинами. Недолго думая, Чебурашка забрался в один из них и стал завтракать. Он съел целых два апельсина и так объелся, что ему трудно стало передвигаться. Поэтому он прямо на фруктах и улегся спать.

Спал Чебурашка крепко, он, конечно, не слышал, как подошли рабочие и заколотили все ящики. После этого апельсины вместе с Чебурашкой погрузили на корабль и отправили в далекое путешествие.

Ящики долго плавали по морям и океанам и в конце концов оказались во фруктовом магазине очень большого города. Когда их открыли, в одном апельсинов почти не было, а был только толстый-претолстый Чебурашка.


Entry #774 - Points: 33 - WINNER!
Paul Hirsh
Once upon a time in a thick tropical forest there lived a funny little creature. His name was Cheburashka. Or rather, he didn't start off with a name when he was just living in his tropical forest. He got the name Cheburashka later, when he left his forest and met people. This is because it is people who give names to animals. It was people who told the elephant that he was an elephant, and told the giraffe he was a giraffe, and told the hare that he was a hare. But a hare, had he given the matter Show full text

Kirill Semenov
I especially like the idea of "hit-a potty-mouse, or poppy-otter-mess", that's a great approach!
Yuri Smirnov
I voted for you as the winner (not knowing it was you). I was far from being alone, as is obvious now.
Paul Hirsh
Thank you for your votes and comments. This cute text reminded me of Kipling's Just So Stories which I was raised on.
Entry #990 - Points: 15
Caroline Devitt (X)
Once upon a time, in a thick jungle, there lived a very curious animal. His name was Cheburashka. Well, actually, at first he didn’t have a name, when he lived there in his jungle. He was called Cheburashka later on, when he left the jungle and met some people. After all, it’s people that give names to animals. They’re the ones who told the bear that he was a bear, and the giraffe that he was a giraffe, and the hare that he was a hare. But, if he’d thought about it, the bear could have guessed Show full text

David Knowles
I liked the rolly-polly, but I'm sure it should be roly-poly!
Caroline Devitt (X)
Thanks. monxmood definitely deserved to win, though, I think!
Entry #748 - Points: 14
Anonymous
Once upon a time, a very funny little animal lived in a dense tropical forest.  He was called Cheburashka.  Or rather, at first he wasn’t called anything – not while he was living in his tropical forest.  Because it’s people who give animals names.  They are the ones who told the elephant he was an elephant, the giraffe that he was a giraffe, and the hare that he was a hare.  But the hare, if he had thought about it, might have guessed that Show full text

Kirill Semenov
really great and close to the source, I believe:)
David Knowles
Well this is the one I liked best - and the "greengrocer's shop" is definitely a good touch, but I still don't know who it is!
Jack Doughty
Thanks, David and Kirill. But a well-deserved win by Mahmood.
Larissa Dinsley
I really liked this translation - spot on and the story just flows.
Jack Doughty
Thank you, Larissa!
Entry #948 - Points: 8
David Knowles
In a dense tropical forest there lived a very curious little animal.  He was called Cheburashka.  Actually, nobody called him that when he was living in his tropical forest.  He only got the name Cheburashka after he had left the forest and met people.  You see, these people always give animals names.  They told the elephant that he was an elephant, the giraffe that he was a giraffe and the hare that he was a hare.  The hare, if he had thought Show full text

Kirill Semenov
the last sentence is missing, still I like it really, thank you :)
Marianna Staroselsky
The only line in this translation that wasn't quite spot on was "these people" instead of just "people" or just "humans." Otherwise, this is an excellent translation. I like the use of "hare," "our little animal," and the hyphens, all true to the original
David Knowles
I didn't see the last paragraph, and I've no idea why. Next time I'll make doubly sure! I agree entirely with Marianna about "these people" - I fell straight into the elementary trap of это люди vs. эти люди.
David Knowles
One bit I don't like is my translation of просто жил себе да жил. I think "just lived his life" is probably the best. "Minded his own business" is possible but it's not quite right.
David Knowles
Here's my missing paragraph, but I can't say what I would have written in the first place. You may recognise contributions from other entries!

The crates sailed the seas for a long time and eventually ended up at a greengrocer's in a big city. When they were opened, one of them had hardly any oranges in it - just a great big, roly-poly Cheburashka!
Entry #1150 - Points: 8
Anonymous
Once upon a time in a dense tropical forest there lived a funny creature. His name was Cheburashka. Actually, while he was still living in his rainforest he had no name at all. He got the name of Cheburashka later, after he had left the forest and was discovered by human beings. After all, it is humans who give names to animals. It was humans who told the elephant that it is an elephant, who informed the giraffe that it should be called a giraffe, and announced to the rabbit that it is a rabbit. Show full text

Entry #1180 - Points: 8
Paul Adie
Once upon a time a funny little creature lived in a dense tropical forest. He was called Cheburashka. Well, he wasn’t called anything while he lived in the tropical forest. He was called Cheburashka once he came out of the forest and met people. Humans like to give names to animals after all. They told the ox that he was an ox, the giraffe that he was a giraffe, and the hare that he was a hare. But the ox, if he thought about it, could have guessed that he was an ox. He has a very simple name after Show full text

Paul Adie
Thanks for the votes...but I made the mistake of confusing apples and oranges!
Entry #1114 - Points: 6
Anonymous
In a dense tropical forest, there lived a funny little animal. His name was Cheburashka. Actually, he had no name at first when he lived in his tropical forest. And he was named Cheburashka later, when he left the forest and met people, because it is people who give animals their names. It is they who told Ant that he is an ant, who told Giraffe that he is a giraffe, and who told Rabbit that he is a rabbit. Though Ant, if he gave it a thought, could have guessed that he is an ant, because his name Show full text

Feedback - Third ProZ.com Translation Contest
This space is provided for feedback and suggestions about the contest in this particular language pair.
As we have already planned, this feature is now open to all members (full, community and student members).
Alexander Onishko
Congratulations to the Winner as well as the silver and bronze medal winners !

I invite all participants and other people interested to discuss the results of the contest in this forum - http://www.proz.com/topic/78239 - You may write in Russian or English.

One of the main issues - Do you think the participants should also have the right to vote or not? Do you think there should be the qualification stage ? Who should vote in the qualification stage?


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